Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy. These are the most entertaining celebrity tweets this week.
Everyone should follow my mother @RogenSandy because it will personally amuse me. Thanks!
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) October 13, 2014
His poor mom.
https://twitter.com/rejectedjokes/status/521557956182032384
There have been worse TV ideas.
I don't know … But I think this Ebola epidemic is a form of population control. Shit is getting crazy bruh.
— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) October 13, 2014
Breezy’s got it all figured out..
A mustache is the same thing as your new neighbor knocking on your door and letting you know he's a registered sex offender.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) October 13, 2014
The more you know.
I like London because the food store has 50 different different types of sandwiches & they all have stuffing.
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) October 13, 2014
You can never go wrong with stuffing.
Well, they just announced the winner in Economics, so realistically my only shot for a Nobel prize this year is in Fudge or Scrapbooking.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) October 13, 2014
He’s a lock for Fudge.
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/521665647441219586
Louis ain’t skeered.
https://twitter.com/JamesDeen/status/521691467757023233
He inhaled what?
https://twitter.com/IrelandBBaldwin/status/521692902867496960
That’s true.
I just auditioned for a acting role to play myself! I don't think they liked me. Wow 2014 has turned out to be a really tough year.
— Arsenio Hall (@ArsenioHall) October 13, 2014
Poor Arsenio.
Uber wants to bring me lunch but they don’t say what it costs to have the driver stay and tell you a story while you eat it. C’mon
— Jake Johannsen (@Jakethis) October 13, 2014
It’s $50.
MANY IN CONGRESS HIDE IN THEIR STATES & BITCH & MOAN ABOUT LOSING WAR WITH ISIS.COME BACK & DO YOUR PANSEY ASS JOBS FOR ONCE! U R WORTHLESS
— Cher (@cher) October 13, 2014
Cher mad.
https://twitter.com/TheOrlandoJones/status/521894847007842304
Both legitimate questions.
Leather pants, although fun, are a very uncomfortable way to start the day.
— Elizabeth Gillies (@LizGillies) October 14, 2014
Try leather underpants, oh the chafing.
Hey, I just met you/And this is crazy/But BLUUUAAAGH PINEAPPLE SATAN THE MOON LANDING WAS FAKED PENIS BLAAAGH
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 14, 2014
Sorry about that, Patton.
Wait, underwear and cologne aren't free?!? Uh oh
— Jay Glazer (@JayGlazer) October 14, 2014
Dallas Cowboys, amirite?
I don't think this is what Jerry Jones meant by Joseph Randle getting more touches.
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) October 14, 2014
Then again this is Jerry Jones we’re talking about.
https://twitter.com/JamesDeen/status/522068994191155201
Probably not where he usually uses lotion.
Just saw an electric car w/ a "my wife, yes; my dog, maybe; my gun, NEVER" bumper sticker.
I'm confused— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) October 14, 2014
Seriously. Who buys an electric car?
https://twitter.com/danieltosh/status/522082175944908800
At least something good came out of The Fappening.
"I'm on a diet, so I'm just gonna have a salad." [drinks gallon jug of ranch dressing with three pieces of spinach in it]
— Nate Fernald (@natefernald) October 14, 2014
That’s my kind of diet.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/522116253683830784
Same here.
Just because you hold your hair up in a pic it doesn't mean you're a model.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) October 14, 2014
It doesn’t?
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/522120204503900160
Oh, it’s not so bad. Just saying.
https://twitter.com/ChrisWarcraft/status/522247144434962432
That’s a sure sign of a good movie.
https://twitter.com/taylorswift13/status/522251717359202304
God love, T-Swizzle.
Village Voice says I'm top radio personality in NYC but they're so snotty saying it, they should shove it where the sun don't shine.
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) October 15, 2014
Geraldo angry.
How did I get this look? My dog chewed on my hair for a little while before I got out of bed this morning
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) October 15, 2014
I hear that’s how models do it.
AND HUMPING AND HUMPING!!!!
— Rowdy Roddy Piper (@R_Roddy_Piper) October 15, 2014
The don’t call him Rowdy for no reason.
https://twitter.com/KattWilliams/status/522397822570598400
You and about millions of others.
#BlameJameis still trending. Million dollar game. Ten cent head.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) October 15, 2014
Seminoles fan won’t like that.
https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/522427084644167680
Your chances are about the same.
Ripped the label off a bottle of Febreze and sold it to a paranoid soccer mom for $1200, told her it was Ebola repellant.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) October 15, 2014
Trying that tonight.
I’m pretty sure when the umpires say they’re going to look at the replay, they’re watching cat videos.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 15, 2014
Wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
If you've sexted, do you worry about where those pictures might show up?
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) October 15, 2014
Troll on, Dr. Ruth, troll on.
https://twitter.com/BreeOlson/status/522618698658766848
Got it?
https://twitter.com/lordemusic/status/522627642852257792
Who doesn’t?
I think I may have just ordered my next girlfriend on Amazon. She ships in two days.
— bob saget (@bobsaget) October 16, 2014
*quickly types in Amazon.com*
Kanye Is A Genius.
— Jaden (@jaden) October 16, 2014
Jaden Has Spoken.
https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/522805851552108544
Trying visiting the DMV.
The shame that fills you when your phone is in your hand and you drop it for literally no other reason than your hand was like 'nah'
— Dove Cameron (@DoveCameron) October 16, 2014
Been there, done that.
Hello @RobLowe tell me what you would not do for the money?
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) October 15, 2014
Have a great weekend, everybody!