20 Steps To Becoming An Over-Hyped Vodka Cranberry-Drinkin’ Professional DJ
Step one: wear all black
Step two: adopt some vaguely-European accent that’s too vague to place, yet douche enough that people talking to you assume you’re Dutch, Swedish, etc.
Step three: press play
Step four: do you really need a step four? You already look and sound like a cockwad. Might be time to quit while you’re ahead.