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One Drink:
- Every mention of the show's #theworldislistening slogan
- Every time LL Cool J changes his hat
- Every CBS camera shot of Justin Timberlake
- PSY is pictured and everyone remembers how fucking sick he is of PSY
- When CBS cameras show someone defying the strict dress code standards of the Grammys
- Every time someone you're watching with makes an angry Chris Brown joke
- If Carly Rae Jespen wins Song of the Year for “Call Me Maybe”
- If Frank Ocean's “Channel Orange” deservedly wins Album of the Year
- When Frank Ocean wins Best New Artist
- When someone you're watching the show with complains about the Alabama Shakes getting robbed for not winning Best New Artist
- If Lupe Fiasco looks strung out
- Every time Jay-Z and Kanye West win for “Ni**as in Paris”
- During a category that bores us to tears, like Best R&B Song and/or Performance
- When “Levels” wins “Best Dance Song”
- When Bruce Springsteen wins in any Rock category (just because he's The Boss)
- Someone does a dance routine that could be a stripper show at the Spearmint Rhino
Two Drinks:
- Every CBS camera shot of Drake. EVERY. TIME
- Every time someone wearing a hipster douche outfit is shown. In otherwords, every time Skrillex is shown
- When someone makes a joke about Taylor Swift's dating history
- If Taylor Swift wins Best Record of the Year for “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”
- If Gotye wins “Best Record of the Year” for “Somebody That I Used to Know”
- If Fun. wins “Best Record of the Year” for “We Are Young”
- Every time Beyonce looks smug
- If Justin Timberlake's performance of “Suit and Tie” sucks, even with the addition of Jay-Z
- If Odd Future shows up.
- When Adele beats out Rihanna for “Best Pop Solo Performance”
- Steve Aoki or Deadmau5 do something crazy in their acceptance speech after winning “Best Dance/Electronica Album”
- Someone you're watching the show with makes snarky comments about Mumford and Sons dressing like American Civil War-era soldiers
Finish your drink:
- When an artist looks visibly upset for not winning
- If Rick Ross is eating a cheeseburger
- Chris Brown and Frank Ocean get in a fight.
- When someone makes a joke about Justin Bieber getting snubbed
- If 2 Chainz has more than two chains on
- If Nas manages to finally win a Grammy
- If Skrillex beats Avicii for “Best Dance Song”
- If there's an actual EDM artist beef war off-camera
Take a shot:
- During the inevitable performance that makes everyone go “WTF?!” (ala Nicki Minaj's Satanic ritual last year)
- If someone you're watching the show with asks, “Who was Levon Helm?” during the tribute to the late, great founding member of The Band
- If someone you're watching the show with asks, “Who was Dave Brubeck?” during the Stanley Clarke, Chick Corea, and Kenny Garrett tribute to the late, great jazz pianist
- If any artist other than Frank Ocean wins “Album of the Year”
- If Drake's “The Motto” wins Best Rap Song of the Year
- When you're sick of hearing “We Are Young,” “Somebody That I Used to Know,” and “Call Me Maybe,” just for the hell of it
Take a shot of whiskey:
- Every country performance. Except you, Taylor Swift, because you're not country
Smoke a blunt
- When CBS cameras show Snoop Dogg/Snoop Lion looking ridiculous
- If someone — we're looking at you, Wiz Khalifa — actually references weed's legalization in Colorado and/or Washington
Butt chug*
- “Imma let you finish” — Kanye interrupts someone's acceptance speech for whatever reason.
Have some more Grammy drinking game rules? Let us know in the comments!
*Don't actually butt-chug, idiot.
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