Hey Bros, let’s talk about how to keep your Sperrys clean! Boatshoe Bobby here. It’s time to kick back with some Arbor Mists at the Vineyard and talk cleaning your Sperrys for the summer. Because clean Sperrys are happy Sperrys. And here at BroBible, we know a thing or two about how to clean your Sperrys.
First of all: We can all agree that Sperrys are the best boat shoes for men, right? Today I’m here to talk about an epidemic that runs rampant in Bro culture this time of year: Repugnant boat shoe odor. Nasty boat shoes leave your feet stinky and smelly, which is why cleaning Sperrys before use is so important. Sperry Stink is truly a modern Bro dilemma, with many-a chaying Bro being rejected thanks to the stench of their feet.
So get to it before (…or, after) a summer of hard livin’ in those Sperrys, before they collect spilt beer from the Boardie Barn and ballpark urinal after-flow! Who knows what kind of foot-gonorrhea is growing between the laces down there.
Here’s how to keep your Sperrys clean with 17 super-clutch lifehacks to eliminate the dreaded Sperry Stink.
All credit goes to Reddit’s very few frat stars for these tips on cleaning Sperry boat shoes.
“Take out the sole and replace it with something that isn’t leather. I’ve used Dr. Scholls in the past and it worked fairly well.” — jlw525
“Get a couple pairs and rotate. Just letting them dry for a full 24 hours does wonders. This goes for dress shoes as well.” — cowboyhaze
“Dryer sheets over night. Works like a charm.” — DustyGoDucks
“Freeze them. Apparently it kills the bacteria causing the odor. I’ve tried it and it works for a while but the smell will come back eventually.” — reekomds
“Gold bond foot powder, works like a charm. Also, don’t be afraid to wear socks with them. Mainly when you’re wearing long pants cause shorts, socks and sperrys will kind of make you look like an asshole” — 369DAMNyoFINE
“Shin-high Socks with sperrys is pretty fucking popular in Charleston. Still trying to figure out why. Also, I wear loafer socks with my sperrys. It’s a good way to go if you don’t scrub your feet well enough or just have smelly ass feet” — FLHCv2
“I put these odor eater things in them. They’re insoles and kill all odor, including keeping your feet fresh.” — nofatchicksever
“These. They are great. I even wear them with my New Balances and other running shoes because I hate the look of socks showing around my ankles.” — cspence96
“Have two pairs and rotate wearing ’em every other day. In the ones that aren’t being used, throw in these:”
“Buy multiple pairs… some for barefoot some for socks. Beat the shit out of the barefoot ones, they’re friggin boat shoes after all. Keep the sock ones nice for khakis.” — dreamingtree1855
“Baby powder man. Works with skates, so it damn well works with sperries. plus it makes your feet actually smell good and stay dry. Just throw a bit in when you take them off and let it sit.” — erribleTauTG
“You know the spray deodorant you can use under your arms? Spray your feet before your wear your sperry’s. Deodorant contains aluminum chlorohydrate which blocks your sweat glands so the shoes dont smell. I’ve also seen the foot powder which does the same thing but you have to touch your feet and get your hands all powdery.” — ghettobacon
“Remember to wash your feet when showering. Too many people don’t do this and it helps a lot with “sperry smell.” Also try not to wear the same sperrys multiple days in a row. Have a rotation/dress accordingly.” — GodDamnItFrank
“Gotta put the baby powder IN your sperrys and on your balls. Keeps your feet and balls from smelling bad. Bitches love a pleasant smelling pair of feet and balls. Also more blowjobs.” — Andhers92
“Scrub your feet in the shower will help to. Don’t forget in between your toes.” — WhoRipped
“Put deodorant on your feet. That’s what I do, of course I don’t tell anyone about it because that’s whimpy shit.” — MatteMitch