Finally, Underwear Designed To Protect Your Balls From Radiation

Not a day goes by that I don’t worry about my cell phone being too close to my balls. It’s constantly in my pocket, getting all warm, probably frying my nuts internally into a perfect golden bronze. Yeah, weird shit concerns me but don’t tell me you never thought about the damage done to your sack after setting a laptop on your crotch for hours. Of course you have!

At least now people are interested in protecting our most prized possession — a company in the UK called Wireless Armour makes underwear that protects your nads from possible radiation.

Enter Wireless Armour, a new label based out of London. The way it works is simple—by weaving silver into the fibers of the garment. And, according to The Daily Mail, “Wireless’ Armour’s Faraday cage fabric has been independently tested and was found to shield 99.97 per cent of Wi-Fi signals.” Additionally, the silver is said to make the underwear resistant to bacteria, which keeps them smelling clean. Now, we know what you’re thinking—that’s pretty nuts.

So do these undies really protect your privates? We won’t really know until a few years down the line. Until then, hide your nuts.

[via GQ]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.