Do you hate waiting in lines to get into clubs? Of course you do, lines are terrible and they’re even worse at clubs when you know all the fun is going on inside. I bet you also can’t stand haggling with the bouncers at the front door on how much it’ll cost for you and your bros to skip the line and get into the club, because that process sucks gigantic donkey balls when you don’t have chicks in your crew and they try to extort huge sums of money from you.
Uber overtook the taxi industry because the entire taxi system is antiquated, the drivers have no incentive to get better at their jobs, and they were all fine with the status quo. The same holds true for club promoters and bouncers, they’re all shaving money off the top by getting kickbacks for people coming into the club and they have no incentive whatsoever to make the industry better. I say fuck them, we deserve better, and that’s why I’m stoked on The Tableist App.
The Tableist is an app that lets you book tables, VIP, etc at clubs from your phone. You reserve your VIP experience in advance, you don’t have to deal with anyone shaking you down for money at the door, and you have access to the sickest clubs in the world.
U.S. Cities where The Tableist is currently available include Las Vegas, New York City, Miami, Foxwoods, San Francisco, Boston, Washington D.C., and more. This is legit. They also have 24/7 concierge service so if you’re in a new city and don’t know what spots are popping off that night you can sync up with the local concierges for advice.
The is the goddamn future (though the app actually launched back in 2013, it’s just picking up steam now). This is how the club industry SHOULD be operating, using a format that takes all the hassle out of clubbing. Here’s how the app works:
Here are some excerpts from the FAQ on the Tableist website on how it all works:
I’m trying to go out on a specific budget, how do I find my best options?
You have a range of options. Our table selection page gives you table minimums, which should help give you an idea of what you will be spending for the night. If you aren’t able to find anything that suits you, get in touch with a concierge and let them do the work.
I don’t know where to go, can I get help planning my night out?
Absolutely. Our concierges are available 24/7. Reach them from the “Talk to us” widget on tablelist.com, or text us at (617)-340-8791 to get started. They can help you find exactly what you are looking for, and they really shine when they are planning birthday, bachelor, or bachelorette parties.
How far in advance can I book a table?
Booking is available up to 7 days in advance, and remains open until night-of. Depending on capacity, you may be able to book a table or pay your cover charge from the line and skip the wait!
What you get with your reservation:
What’s included with my table booking?
Additional perks change from venue to venue, but all bottle service packages include:
The bottles you ordered
Standard mixers (OJ, pineapple, etc.)
Express entry into the club for you and your guests
Waived cover charge
A private table for you and your guests
Private service from a personal waitress
On-call support from your personal Tablelist concierge
I really see nothing bad about this app whatsoever. They’re proving a much needed service in the club industry and removing all the fucking hassle that people hate. If I was a betting man I’d be all in on the Tableist, because as someone who’s personally turned off by clubbing due to all the hassle this actually makes it all hassle free…which is perfect.