via Essentia
What’s up, everyone? It’s Masters Weekend—the holiest of holy couch-sitting weekends—and I am eternally grateful you’re spending a fraction of it reading BroBible. Welcome to Things We Want.
It’s been quite a week since we’ve last convened. While the rest of the civilized sports world was glued to the Final Four, I was living my best life in a luxury suite at BMO Stadium, watching LAFC, hosted by the absolute legends at Essentia. My fellow bottled water ball-knowers all agree that this is the undisputed heavyweight champion of bottled water (seriously, it hits different). We watched LAFC systematically dismantle Orlando City in a ruthless 6-0 bloodbath. It was glorious, in a “no mercy” kind of way.
The suites at BMO Stadium are awesome, and we talked about their moves as one of the biggest and best water brands in the game. Perhaps most importantly… I finally got to meet Olly the Falcon, LAFC’s majestic live mascot. I have never felt more intimidated by a bird.
Speaking of major power moves, Essentia just dropped a massive partnership with global soccer demigod Son Heung-Min. This is his first American brand partnership since coming stateside, and just in time for the World Cup, which is a massive flex. They’re supercharging Essentia’s “Change the Equation” platform…. It’s basically a rallying cry for betting on yourself and rewriting your own story through sheer, unstoppable grit. Son’s whole career is the blueprint for this: dude casually bet on himself and his career, leaving Korea for Germany at 15. The new campaign is a full 360-degree blitz featuring sick content, retail drops, and a BMO Stadium integration designed to keep fans hydrated… and incredibly cool while sweating out those LAFC goals.
The next day, my fiancée and I spent Easter Sunday at the Ritz-Carlton in Marina Del Rey, enjoying their incredible Easter buffet. I put down at least a couple of pounds of shrimp, oysters, and crab legs, and the ham was unbeatable.
The other reality-bending highlight of my week was hitting up Marc Maron’s Divided Sky Foundation benefit at Largo in West Hollywood to support Trey Anastasio’s Vermont rehab center. Big Red himself came out with the acoustic guitar and ripped a killer set that had the entire room singing along like a campfire (though I tragically missed “Back On The Train” at the end because of course I did). Here’s a clip The Largo shared on Instagram:
After that, it was just a casual murderers’ row of comedy: Sarah Silverman, Nick Kroll, Marc Maron, and John Mulaney each casually dropping 20 minutes. Easily one of the most face-meltingly good comedy shows of my life, packed with a few insidery Phish jokes, all for an amazing cause.
It was a nice appetizer for the real deal next week: I’ll be having my mind blown by Phish at the Sphere in Vegas. My crew and I had a blast in 2024 at The Sphere, and I am so freakin’ pumped for a mini-vacation I could come unglued while in midair and land to reform…. limb by limb (limb by limb by limb by…)
As always, you can email me at brandon@brobible.com to share cool stuff, thoughts, and insights.
Things We Want:
- On Saturday afternoon, before heading to BMO Stadium, I hauled the new Solo Steelfire 22-inch Griddle to the park and fired up some homemade Philly Cheesesteaks. They were so unbelievably good that I’m considering opening an illegal street cart. This chef-grade stainless steel griddle is an absolute weapon and a pure joy to cook with. If you want to ruthlessly dominate your park hangs and tailgates this spring, do yourself a favor and go get one right now at SoloStove.com for $399.
- PSA: We have a mobile gaming section on BroBible now where you can earn actual cashback rewards for playing popular mobile games while ignoring your real-world responsibilities. This helps support our business goals in a major way, especially if enough of you go do it (read more about it here). Just sign up, play, and come back to see how much loot you’ve earned. I am currently hopelessly addicted to Toon Blast. Go sign up and play!
- Have you seen the TaylorMade’s Season Opener Collection yet? It features one handsome golf bag, available via TaylorMade.com for $699…
- Since it’s the holiest of weekends for kelly green and blooming azaleas, you absolutely need to check out the Chubbies Patrons Golf Collection. It’s loud, it’s stretchy, and it’s practically the required uniform for crushing Transfusions on the patio. Pair it with the Nike Next% Tour 3 Golf Shoes while you’re at it.
Chubbies
- YETI just released the YETI Trailhead Field Chair, which features a lightweight aluminum frame that actually folds down easily into an included carry bag. I have one of the original YETI folding chairs and it is an absolute BEAST. That is also the worst thing about it—it’s incredibly bulky compared to the flimsy folding chairs you buy at a gas station that instantly collapse when your buddy sits on them. I’m sure YETI’s over-caffeinated R&D engineers dialed it in with this one. I’ve worn through a graveyard of cheap outdoor chairs, and I want something completely indestructible for the summer. Could be the move. $225 on YETI.com.
via YETI
- Sperry teamed up with Huckberry to release a limited edition AO Lite Boat Shoe in Realtree®. I don’t know how I feel about it. I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m sort of a boat shoe traditionalist. But you can’t beat the price at $95 via Huckberry.
- My fiancée casually sent me a listing for a 1965 Mercedes Benz Unimog 404 on Facebook Marketplace, listed for $35,000, which is a very dangerous game to play with my bank account. I’m legitimately worried that if I bought it, I would instantly throw a mattress in the back, abandon my apartment, and just live out of it because it’s that completely epic. I’m also a big fan of this 1997 Japanese G-Wagon on Bring A Trailer. It’s gorgeous.
via Facebook Marketplace
That’s what I got this week. Go enjoy the golf, try not to burn your house down, and come back next week for more.
E-mail me at brandon@brobible.com.