Jesus Christ. Where the fuck were boner-killing boxers when I was a kid and “No Reasoners” were springing up left and right? Mostly left, though — if you know what I mean AND I THINK YOU DO.
If you watched the video above, you are probably thinking, “This is a great idea. Obviously it’s not for me because I’m a grown ass man and I have total dick control. Also what the hell do these things look like?” Well, I don’t know. What I do know is these people have an Indiegogo campaign — because who doesn’t these days? — and they aren’t going to manufacture and sell these boner-stifling bad boys until they are fully funded. That’s where you come in. Yes, you. The one reading this. The guy sitting there saying to himself, “Finally, something that will end my life long no-reason-boner suffering.” If that’s you, then read on and drop your life savings to make sure this idea sees the light of day. Otherwise, you’ll be spending the rest of your life tucking your boner into your belt and praying that it doesn’t spring out at the wrong time like a Murphy bed.