You know that old saying, “When you try to be everything to everyone, you become nothing to no one”?
Yeah, that wisdom applies to the snack food aisle at the grocery store.
Once the sacred cradle of junk food innovation, the snack food aisle has become boring and predictable. There’s a lot of everything – every zesty flavor imaginable, every ingredient of chip imaginable, every Big Food corporate synergy imaginable.
There are a plethora of options for the calorie-conscious. Most of them taste like dried lawn clippings and tree bark, with the texture of industrial-strength styrofoam.
But what about us neckbeards who don’t care about our beach bods? We’re proud of our midnight munchies after a marathon gaming session. We don’t want a bag of swiss chard straws or popcorn with a label that gives you anxiety about your BMI.
In that moment, we want to satiate our cravings with something that smacks us in the tastebuds.
That’s where FFUPS comes in.
What is FFUPS?
FFUPs (which is “puffs” spelled backward… and wrong) isn’t going to bullshit you with health claims. It’s unabashedly “not healthy”, priding itself on taste, flavor, and a one-of-a-kind crunch instead.
Available for delivery via FFUPS.com, these are decadent cheese puffs, designed for cheese puff-heads. You can’t miss the brightly-colored packages, complete with a creamy late ’70s vibe.
The snack food brand is the brainchild of Sam Tichnor, a Boston-born CPG industry vet who felt like something was missing from the snack aisle of his local grocery store.
Hence, a brand that isn’t going to boast about health claims.
Instead, they’ll brag about flavor. FFUPS is loaded with savory seasonings that break out of the mold from traditional puff flavors. There are five flavors that appeal to a spectrum of tastes – savory, umami, salty, sweet, and tangy.
We’re not talking about gas station-quality cheese puffs here, people.
- Grocery Store Cheddar – The old staple, reenvisioned with an extremely craveable twist: Loads of cheddar.
Semi-Historic Sour Cream & Onion – Who says sour cream and onion only belongs on potato chips? It’s a delicious seasoning on puffs too. This is how you keep the old boys club in the snack food Illuminati on their toes. Beat the gatekeepers at their own game.
Professional Salt & Vinegar – Like classic boardwalk french fries, it mixes the tangy of malt vinegar with a salty crunch.
Unambiguous Cinnamon Toast – Remember watching cartoons on Saturday morning while gorging on bowls of cinnamon sugar cereal? It’s like the puffs version of that – Impossible to put down. They’re kind of like mini-churros, with the perfect crunch.
Instant Hot Chocolate – Classic hot cocoa powder… on puffs? It hits the sweet tooth without an overwhelming sugar crash, with a pinch of chocolate and marshmallow.
Warning: If you’re prone to snack attacks, FFUPS will get ‘ya every time.
Stock that pantry up. You can order online, six bags for $30 or twelve bags for $58.