How Good Does The Sex Have To Be To Get Your Wife’s Name Tattooed This Big, Like Benji Madden Did For Cameron Diaz?

That right there is a new tattoo Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden got to honor his wife, Cameron Diaz.

Here it is in all his glory.

That’s a big ‘Cameron.’ A real big Cameron.

Now, I have been thinking–ever since I saw this a few hours ago–why someone would do this? In 2015, everyone is aware of the fleeting nature of relationship, and the prevalence of divorce, and just how damn hard it is to love someone unconditionally forever.

So why do people get tattoos of significant others? Is it because they want to convince themselves that things will be this way forever? Is it to prove to your significant other your dedication, or is not doing this, not believing, a recipe for disaster? If you don’t love someone enough for a tattoo, is that even love?

I thought about this all train ride home, and I think I have come to conclusion. It’s gotta be about sex. Mind-blowing sex, the kind you are certain you’ll never be able to replicate with anyone else ever. Fucking that’s so good it ruins fucking for you forever.

My conclusion is that people get tattoos of their significant other’s name because they are having the best sex of their lives, and they want to do something to affirm to themselves and the person they are fucking that they will get to fuck this way forever.

Plus, I imagine that first post-tattoo sex is freaking mind-blowing.

Lastly, people do it to hedge when the sex ends. You can always use that ‘but I got a tattoo” card to get that great, great, great sex one last time, even after you’ve broken up.

I think.

So, you think Cameron Diaz is amazing in bed?

Well, look at that tattoo again and you tell me.