‘Twas only a week or so ago that the following photo of Miranda Kerr’s butt was uploaded to Instagram:
“Oh look, it’s Miranda Kerr’s butt” you say as I do my damndest to hold by tongue and keep from saying “No shit fuckhead I JUST SAID THAT.” You take a gander at her bottom, then continue on with your life because a butt is a butt and like whatever it’s a butt.
…little did you know that a mystery, MYSTERY was about to fall right into your lap; a mystery that requires an innate knowledge of Miranda’s butt in order to solve it. What mystery is that, you ask? The mystery of…WHICH OF THESE BUTTS BELONGS TO MIRANDA KERR?!?!?!!!
Which one? WHICH ONE?!! I pick left because there’s no birthmark, but for all we know Miranda actually does have a birthmark and it just gets photoshopped out of all her fancy model photos.
If you’re thinking this post will end with an answer, you’re dumb. I don’t have one. Pick a butt, say it’s Miranda’s and then pat yourself on the back for being a real true blue Sherlock Holmes, minus the Sociopathy and ability to solve mysteries.