No one is dumb enough to believe that fast food is good for you, but some of these calorie counts are astounding. Number one on the list is the equivalent of 8 orders of Sonic tater tots.
We took the single most unhealthy regular menu item from each of the top 10 fast food restaurants* in America and then ranked them by calorie content. While that isn’t an exact measure of unhealthiness, that’s the criteria we used. We’ve also included grams of fat, milligrams of sodium, grams of carbs, and grams of sugar. For reference, a McDonald’s packet of salt is 270 mg. Picture that as you scroll through items with 2000+.
*We substituted #11, Sonic, for #8, Pizza Hut, as most items under the red roof are intended to be shared.
10 Chick-fil-A: Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe
Chick-fil-A had plenty of bad press last year, but no one would have cared if their food wasn’t delicious. The best item on that menu is their spicy chicken sandwich. Unfortunately it’s also the most unhealthy piece of chicken in the shack.
9 Starbucks Venti Whole Milk Hot chocolate with whipped cream
Hot chocolate is the way to go if you need a way to warm up in the winter but won’t be near a bathroom in 30 minutes. It’s rich, delicious, and makes you feel like a kid again. It can also help you pack on some pounds for extra insulation.
8 KFC: Chicken Pot Pie
Speaking of feeling like a kid, has anyone eaten a chicken pot pie since you turned 13? I haven’t, though I have had a pizza pot pie. That clearly didn’t come from KFC though, so let’s stick to the foodstuff at hand.
7 Taco Bell: XXL Grilled Stuffed Beef Burrito
The problem with Taco Bell is that everything is so terribly delicious that you need to maximize the number of items ordered every time. That leaves little room for a monstrosity like the XXL Grilled Stuffed Burrito. That may be for the best.
6 Dunkin’ Donuts: Large Frozen Caramel Coffee with Cream
Beverages are the quiet killer when it comes to calorie bombs. Most people assume they’ll overestimate and say their drink is a few hundred calories, but often times that doesn’t even scratch the surface. This is 32-ounces of tummiberry juice.
5 Wendy’s: 3/4 lb Triple Burger
When the weight of an item is right there on the menu, odds are you shouldn’t eat it. Something about Wendy’s square burgers makes me want to stack them as high as I can though. It’s like Krabby Patty Jenga.
4 Subway: Chicken & Bacon Ranch Melt
Formerly fat Fogle can eat fresh all he wants, but when you throw bacon and ranch on a sub it defeats the purpose. In fact, even without upgrading to a better bread than white or wheat, this sandwich has 9x more fat than their much touted “6 Grams of Fat or Less” menu.
3 McDonald’s: Big Breakfast with Hotcakes (Large biscuit)
The Big Mac gets the bad rap, but it pales in comparison to the Big Breakfast. Much like the pot pie, I don’t think I’ve had hotcakes, or even typed the word hotcakes, since I was a wee young lad. Add in some sausage, eggs, an awkward hashbrown wedge, and a biscuit and you’ve got short trip to heaven.
2 Bk™ Ultimate Breakfast Platter
Not to be outdone by a jester in red shoes, the King staked his claim to the unhealthy thrown. This meal has identical parts to WacArnold’s, but it significantly ups the gut busting power. There’s a reason it’s called the BK Lounge. Customers need to rest for awhile after eating.
1 Large Oreo Sonic Blast
At a place with rollerskating carhops serving footlong coney dogs, the last thing I expected was that something named after a game for the Sega Game Gear would take the top prize. This honestly shocked me. I assumed it wasn’t healthy, but I don’t think there’s a person reading this who could have guessed these astounding numbers. You could eat 8 small orders of tots and still not have consumed the same number of calories. Actually, that sounds fantastic. To the tot shop!