10 surefire tips for acing your next job interview

Congratulations, your resume passed muster with the automated screening system, human resources and the hiring manager. Now all you have to do is show up fully clothed – and with this list of tips for acing your job interview. Follow it well and best of luck!

10. Discuss Your Weaknesses

Cheese, chocolate, Christina Hendricks – we all have weaknesses and your potential employer wants to hear all about them. Spare no detail.

9. Bring a Gift

Staple a small piece of chocolate to every one of your resumes and hand them out to everyone you pass by on the way to the interview room. Just make sure they’re not Lindt truffles, otherwise you may be held accountable for the mess.

8. Hide Your Tattoos

And then reveal them in a garish display of singular self pride. May we recommend tear-away pants?

7. Identify a Realistic Salary Range

Let them know you won’t work for peanuts, but that you are partial to macadamias.

6. Illustrate Your Skills

Bring an easel, pad and paint – but no paintbrush. You are a hands-on kind of professional, and so this, my friend, is a finger-painting situation.

5. Show Them You’re Different

Every candidate gives a handshake. But since you need to show them you’re different, only high fives will do. If a low five is initiated, you must reject it.

4. Show Your Love For Their Brand

You can achieve this by bringing a competitor’s printed logo and eating it in front of them.

3. Show Enthusiasm

Utterances of “hell yeah” and “that’s freakin’ awesome” are acceptable.

2. Discuss Your Needs

If you need them to advance your pay before they even decide you’re hired, speak up. If you think you’ll want a tank filled with Japanese fighting fish in your office, don’t be afraid to let them know.

1. Be Honest

Above all else, interviewers love honesty.

Don’t have the best professional history? Make them aware of all the times you were fired or how terrible your relationships with past bosses were. Even better, bring a spreadsheet that details all of the office supplies you’ve ever stolen. This is the type of honesty that gets you hired.

Happy businessman image by Shutterstock
Businessmen talking image by Shutterstock
Shaking hands image by Shutterstock