Everyone wants to be the life of the party, but it can be tough to stand out in a crowded room. These five simple tips will surely get you noticed and have people talking about how awesome you are for days to come. That or you’ll look like an idiot, waste a bunch of money, and potentially injure yourself. Popularity is worth the risk though.
5 Dress to impress with a bow tie
First impressions are everything. It takes a confident man to pull off a bow tie, but if you’re that man, there’s nothing better to wear to a party. When was the last time someone commented on your clothes? Probably never. Strap on a bow tie though and let the compliments roll in. There’s nothing less impressive than a pre-tied though, so be sure you go for the real deal. Bow tie aficianado Alton Brown is coming out with his own collection with hook+ALBERT this month, and that’s the perfect place to start if you’re currently tieless. These look nothing like your grandfather’s bow ties. They come in various shapes (yes, there are different ones) and colors, including a camoflauge pattern for those of you who prefer Doctor Who to be a little more hardcore. Keep an eye on hook+ALBERT to get in on the action.
4 Bring the best booze
While everyone is bringing sixer of High Life tallboys, you should arrive with high quality alcohol. You’ll want to base your selection on the type of party to which you’re going, but it shouldn’t be hard to outdo Joe Frat, whether it’s a nice bottle of booze or a case of Sam Adams IPA Hopology. If you know there are quite a few whiskey drinkers in the room, bring a bottle of Bookers. It’s a beast of a bourbon and is uncut and unfiltered. It also happens to be one of the best bourbons on the planet and will leave people talking for days. Just don’t waste it on non-whiskey lovers. Also, be sure to inform people beforehand that it’s 130.4 proof. You don’t want people sleeping with swampdonkeys thanks to your alcohol.
3 Bring the most unique booze
Not every group appreciates craft beer or barrel strength bourbon, but that doesn’t mean your alcoholic offering can’t still stand out. For the wine lovers, you can’t go wrong with Rolling Stones “Forty Licks” Merlot or Pink Floyd “Dark Side of the Moon” Cabernet. The uniqueness of Wines That Rock will certainly get you noticed, and they’re actually damn fine wines. If you really want to be remembered though, be the guy that brings Ivanabitch tobacco flavored vodka. Most people will be appalled at the concept, but everyone will want to give it a shot. I wouldn’t sip it on the rocks with a pinky out like Absolut Elyx, but it’s not quite as Satanic as you might imagine. Just sort of. There’s even a menthol version for your friends who are truly fiending for a smoke break.
2 Make the best food on the table
With the exception of that one chick who always brings some gourmet dish, most people show up to a party with chips and dip, cookies, or some other half-assed snack in tow. Don’t be that guy. If I’ve learned anything from my time behind the Guyism Grill, it’s that making a decent dish isn’t all that difficult. While there might be a few desserts on the table, nothing will stand out quite like an Oreo Lasagna. For one thing, the novelty of it will certainly create a buzz around the room. More importantly though, it’s the best dessert ever made by someone sub-professional. It’s simple, delicious, and involves everyone’s favorite mixed-race cookies. Check out the recipe here.
1 Dance like everyone’s watching
Ladies love a man that can dance. You only have two options: either be decent at dancing or spasm so erratically that no one knows whether or not you’re serious. Women don’t expect you to have moves like P.Swayz or their little cousin at the wedding, but at least be confident enough to move your legs in addition to your upper body. Short of sending you Dequan’s Dance Groove VHS tapes, there’s not much I can do to help you in this area, so I’ll leave you with Flynt Flossy. Memorize these moves and you’ll be the most entertaining man in the room.