Rejoice! Burger King Chicken Fries are back!

Burger King

Burger King has officially brought back the best item their menu ever had, chicken fries. This time the sticks of deliciously dippable chicken come with more than just a sauce compartment.

I don’t care what the sales numbers were, taking Burger King Chicken Fries off the menu was the worst thing the King has done during his reign. It was the one item that didn’t have a clone at any of the other fast food joints. Plus, they were the perfect excuse to eat massive amounts of buffalo sauce. Thankfully, due to overwhelming basement-dweller support, the nine-piece is finally back on the menu!

Supposedly Burger King Chicken Fries are only around again for a limited time, but I think the BK Lounge might suffer a full scale riot were they to drop them once again. The people might be able to cope with a twice yearly offering, like the McRib, but to disappear again would destroy any brand loyalty those fun little crowns we all steal off the high chairs have built.


Even better than the food itself, there’s now a Burger King Chicken Fries line of clothing available from eBay of all places. Don’t ask me the site logic. I’m not a marketer; I just write internet blather. I will, however, say that the first woman who sends me a picture wearing the Chicken Fries Bikini will get an engagement ring back from me.

The Burger King Chicken Fries paraphernalia is all up for auction with the proceeds going to the Burger King McLamore Foundation, which upon quick inspection is a scholars program. Seems worthy, assuming you believe the children are our future. There’s no word on whether the stuff will become readily available after the initial auction is done, so if you absolutely have to have that Burger King Chicken Fries Trucker Hat you better get to bidding. I’m pretty sure Von Douche and Ashten Kutcher killed that trend though.

It’s 2014, so there’s obviously a hashtag. Use #chickenfriesareback if you you need validation from Burger King. They’re pretty active on Twitter and Tumblr right now. They even responded to Dane Cook’s request that they admit he put them on the map.