10 catalog items designed specifically for crazy people

via Harriet Carter


A few months ago, I randomly started receiving a Harriet Carter catalog in the mail.

I tossed the catalogs in the trash with the rest of the junk mail. In search of bathroom reading material I grabbed this month’s catalog and holy crap these products are for crazy people. Either crazy people, or old people, or crazy old people. I’m not sure.

Here are ten of the oddest items but the catalog is filled with hundreds more.

Recliners encourage laziness but a handle that eliminates all of the effort (or exercise) of sitting in a chair is truly insane. Are there people above the age of seven with arms so short they can’t reach the recliner handle? Maybe just lay on the couch then.

Sure, it’s a total body workout if your body was only arms and legs. It’s perfect for the health conscious starfish.

Please don’t encourage those people.

I’d buy this haircut umbrella just to fill it with water and float a boat around a person’s head while I shaved it bald. If you’re that concerned with hair on the floor, drive to the barber.

It’s a book for all your internet stuff. Be sure to start a Word document to keep track of where you left the book.

Neck cushion or the world’s largest penis pump?

Or, you know, buy a real tombstone.

The headlight is perfect for the late night private eye or the old man who keeps pissing in his living room in the middle of the night.

Do NOT look higher than the trees or your pupils will melt.

It eliminates all those awkward requests of “could you hold this bag while I pour hot liquid into it?”

The description made sure to point out it’s portable. You can take it with you on all your pooping excursions.

All photos courtesy of Harriet Carter catalog.

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Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.