‘Dead Or Alive 5’ patch allows for enhanced, and enchanted, boob control

For those of you spending Valentine’s with a loved one, God bless. Meanwhile the rest of us will be doing things to either forget how pathetic and lonely we are or so stuff to compensate. And if Dead Or Alive 5 is your medicine tonight, a head’s up.

The just released version 1.03A patch has a host of advertised new features. Including one hidden one, provided you have a PS3: if you move your controller around, the breasts of the female combatants will do so as well. Here’s a six-minute long video that demonstrates…

… Unfortunately you don’t see the player’s hands manipulating the controller around. But there’s a good chance that he’s man handling something else around as well, so perhaps it’s for the best.

And for the rest of you who don’t have the game, simply enjoy the video anyway and the rest of you poor, lonesome evening.