Jim Beam bravely lets internet put statement on bottle

Colin Joliat

Most of us think we can come up with better slogans than brands, and Jim Beam Single Statement is foolish enough to let you try your own statement. Your nonsense can even get printed on a bottle of Jim Beam Single Barrel sold at retail.

It’s safe to say that trusting the internet is one of the worst mistakes anyone can make. It doesn’t matter if people love the brand or hate it, trollers gonna troll. Remember what 4Chan did to poor li’l’ Mountain Dew when they croud-sourced a name for a new Dew? One of the top responses was “Gushing Grannies.” And while I’m sure grannies love to go on and on about how wonderful their Mountain Dew is, I don’t think that’s what they meant. 4Chan users probably LOVE Mtn Dew, too!

I suppose the lesson was learned because brands are being a little more careful. Jim Beam Single Statement allows you to submit your “one statement” about drinkin’ bourbon, and the best of the best of the best (sir!) will be selected by hand (eye?) and printed on real bottles that are sold in real stores… unless you live in Imaginationland, in which case I have no idea if the campaign is real or not. You only get 50 characters, so hopefully you’re well versed in leaving room for classic retweets because you’re going to need to keep your quote short.

It wasn’t long ago that Laphroaig, who happens to be owned by Beam Suntory, did a similar campaign soliciting absurd whiskey reviews for their site. The extra oversight seemed to work because they have gotten a good mix of funny but not inappropriate responses. And yes, I did reference Sharknado in mine. Jim Beam Single Statement takes things a step further by printing your brilliant mindn-vomit on bottles, so hopefully they have some young people on staff to help weed out inside jokes that might slip by an old timer… especially after a few bourbons.

Enter yours at Jim Beam Single Statement.

Just do me a favor and come up with something better than the Beam employees did. I already told them how hilarious you all are, so don’t make me look bad.

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