Lance Armstrong’s lawyers to USPS: ‘You should have known he was cheating’

Lance Armstrong’s team of lawyers have devised a most fascinating defense in his case vs. the United State Postal Service. Simply stated: “You should have known Lance was cheating.” A truly amazing argument, the likes of which we haven’t seen since the kangaroo court of 1849.


Along with the “you should have known” defense, Armstrong’s going with the following statements.

The government waited for over a decade to file suit against Lance Armstrong for one reason and one reason only: It got everything it bargained for from Armstrong and his cycling team.

… It was well aware of intense national and international media coverage of the team’s doping and widespread doping throughout the sport …

The government wanted a winner and the publicity, exposure and acclaim that goes along with being his sponsor. It got exactly what it bargained for.

I declare shenanigans on everything. On Lance Armstrong, on Floyd Landis, on the Tour de France, on the USPS.

You see, you were supposed to believe Armstrong at the time but not really, really believe him but maybe believe him because he was so convincing but not really, really convincing. Got it? This is like truthception.