We all learned how to drive in a similar way, and yet, we all drive differently. So for the sake of commuters, road warriors, truckers, road trippers and all the rest, let’s just agree on a few things that really should have been taught in Driver’s Ed. Anything to add? Let us know.
9 The left lane is for faster people
When you get into the left lane the onus is on you to either be faster than the person behind you or to get out of the way long enough for them to pass. It seems to be confusing to a lot of slow left lane drivers, but the reason that car after car is passing you on the right isn’t because they’re all assholes, it’s because you’re the asshole.
8 You control how fast the car goes…
…not the other way around. When you’re on an incline, go ahead and press down on your accelerator a bit more. When you’re on a decline, maybe keep your foot close to the brake in case you pick up too much speed. Even better, use cruise control as much as you can so you aren’t pissing people off by constantly changing your speed.
7 The speed limit is a guideline
Cops know that no one is going to drive at the exact speed limit. In fact, most won’t pull you over unless you’re going 14 or more miles over it. But driving under the speed limit is worse than driving over it. Let’s just put it this way: if you’re too old, too feeble or too easily frightened to be able to keep up with a blindingly fast 65 MPH speed limit, maybe driving in general is a little too advanced for you.
6 Parking spots are sacred
So be cool about them, okay? Pull in all the way. Stay within the lines. Be clear whether you are coming, going or just grabbing something from your car when others are waiting. Treat parking spots with the respect they deserve.
5 Rubbernecking destroys lives
If you have the opportunity to see some shit go down on the side of the road involving a car crash, cops or anything else, don’t even think about doing it – no matter what. It’s not that interesting and it won’t enrich your life, but it sure as hell will start a trafficky chain reaction that will make a lot of people very angry.
4 There are only a few ways to communicate without being an asshole
Aside from running people off the road, blinding them with your high beams and honking at them until your horn disintegrates, the turn signal is pretty much the only way to communicate effectively with other drivers. It tells them what you’re doing or going to do and it’s so easy to use – and yet, most drivers eschew that luxury for blindly cutting each other off with no prior warning.
3 Clean the snow off of your car
If you don’t, you will be best case scenario spraying it all over other cars on the road and worst case scenario the snow freezes and you’re shooting barbed ice Frisbees into everyone’s windshield.
2 People have driving personas
The act of driving has the ability to invoke a special kind of rage within each and every one of us, so don’t be surprised when your grandma turns into a road commander as soon as she gets behind the wheel.
1 There are some things you can eat while driving and some things you can’t
Hot pocket? Yes. Crab bisque? No.