What to watch tonight: ‘The Bachelorette’, Home Run Derby

ABC

I could lie to you and say there’s worthwhile TV. I could tell you tall tales of solid acting and impeccable plot lines. Alas, we’re left with reality smut like The Bachelorette. My apologies.

The Bachelorette @ 8pm, ABC: In tonight’s episode, a man embarrasses himself and gets booted off. Wait, that’s the premise of every episode. Nevermind.

Under the Dome @ 10pm, CBS: Yes, this show’s worth watching. Especially since you’re left with little to no alternatives.

Home Run Derby @ 8pm, ESPN: If you hate yourself, watch this with the volume pumped up. Chris Berman’s call may bring you to suicide.

The Daily Show @ 10pm, Comedy Central: Aaron Sorkin’s on tonight and Aaron Sorkin’s gonna tell you how awesome Aaron Sorkin is and how dumb the rest of you are.