Americans: Too Fat For Body Bags

Want to hear the most depressing news ever in this country’s losing battle against obesity?

Good. Because I’m about to tell you.

As a nation we are getting too fat to even die with dignity. Coroners have been pressed into action finding larger body bags to stuff our dead bodies into after we expire because we refuse to put down fatty food while we’re alive.

Wow. That sucks.

Morbid obesity in America is leading to a morbid end-of-life problem for coroners across the country. With more than one third of U.S. adults overweight, standard body bags are too often too small to do the job. Jenna Jackson looks at one unexpected growing cost associated with ever-growing waistlines. Coroner are handling more obese people. As a result, they’ve had to upgrade to larger body bags.

“It’s not a Fremont County problem,” says Mark Stratmoen, Fremont County Wyoming Coroner. “It’s not a Wyoming problem, it’s a national problem. We order larger capacity things because that’s now the standard size that’s being offered.”

The body bags they buy now are eight feet by three and a half. That means that this body bag here can fit somebody six feet in circumference.

Six feet! That should solve the problem.

Eat on, America. Eat on. We now have the gigantic tarps to roll you into after your coronary.