Survey Says Millennials Are Unemployed ‘Cause They Don’t Bathe And Think Phones Are More Important Than Hygiene

If I had to choose between not having my smart phone for a week versus not bathing, my first question would be whether it’s winter or not because that impacts how sweaty I get during the day. My second question would be whether I’m banned from ALL smart phones or just mine, because I’m all about loopholes like that. According to this survey though, not everyone is as discerning as I am when it comes to smart phones and personal hygiene.

” In data released on Monday by the Bank of America Trends in Consumer Mobility report, 1,000 adults were interviewed about how they value objects in their everyday lives.

Only 87 per cent said that deodorant was important to them compared to 93 per cent who said that a smartphone was important.
91 per cent said that toothbrushes were important.

Older adults cited deodorant and smartphones as equal in their everyday lives with the toothbrush ranking the highest importance at 95 per cent.”

COOL GUYS, and we wonder why everyone over the age of 30 thinks we’re jokes. Who the fuck are the 9% of people who don’t brush their teeth? And you 13% that don’t care about deodorant? Do you just not go in public and hide your stench in your house? I consider myself to be fairly socially inept but JESUS, at least I bathe. Oh, and for those of us who need the obvious stated:

” ‘If people can smell you before they see you, you aren’t getting the job,’ said RoAne.

Employees who let their personal hygiene slip after getting hired are also less likely to get promoted or get hired in a position that requires face to face contact with clients or CEOS.

To make things even more difficult for recent graduates, unemployment in the workforce is high.”

Via Daily Mail

So in other words, bathe motherfuckers. BATHE.