Food, the universal equalizer — without it, none of us would survive.
That’s what makes eating challenges so peculiarly ironic: the exact purpose of these experiments is to see what you’re body can consume without ejecting it and spewing it in a thousand different directions.
While most eating challenges are clocked, there are some that could be done over a longer period of time — say, an hour or maybe even two. The common denominator between all of these contests isn’t how long or how though; it’s how you consume the particular foods and how gross that combination feels sitting in your stomach.
A gallon of milk, a giant ball of wasabi, a spoonful of cinnamon — this is just the tip of the iceberg of what’s out there.
If aliens came down from outer space and saw some idiot trying to complete the Reverse Sushi Roll — the aforementioned wasabi followed by a bottle of soy sauce and capped with an entire King Kong-sized sushi tower, then they’d hop back in their space craft and head home in disgust.
Yet, this stuff does exist and bros everywhere try to push their intestines to the limit just to prove how extreme — or in many cases, not extreme — they are.
Oh masculinity, why must you be so elusive?
Here are seven food challenges worth trying out this summer:
Disclaimer: The headline may say beatable, but these will test your spirit and then some.
Let’s start with the breakfast first and work our way toward more substantial courses. Now, I’m not saying the reverse pancake is a breeze — on the contrary, far from it.
You start by chugging a bottle of syrup, and then chase it with a stick of butter before finally munching down on a large-sized pancake. Easy enough, right?
On the surface, the simple three-step process makes it appear harmless, but that bottle of syrup is a vicious animal waiting to be let out of its cage. There’s a reason why we only put a splash of that stuff on a waffle. A whole bottle will put you in a food coma for the rest of the week — and that’s before you get to indulge in the ultimate fantasy of woofing down a stick of margarine. Yummy.
Kitchen Sink Challenge
Like ice cream? Well, you better if you want to try the Kitchen Sink Challenge (KSC) at the The San Francisco Creamery Co. The KSC is a heap of 8 scoops of ice cream, 8 servings of toppings and 8 servings of whipped cream. And if you finish it in an hour you get free ice cream for a year.
You probably thought this was coming last on the list just because of the pure volume of the challenge, but because it’s the least restrictive time wise this Olympic-sized gorging isn’t as much of a burden compared to that spoon of cinnamon in 60 seconds.
If you’re unaware of who Michael Phelps is, he’s the most decorated Olympian in history. He didn’t achieve this by eating kale salad and beets. Michael consumes 12,000 calories per day as part of his training regiment.
Still interested? Good, because here’s the menu for the day:
- Two pounds of pasta
- An extra-large pizza
- Three chocolate chip pancakes
- Three pieces of French Toast
- Three fried egg sandwiches
- Fives omelets
You’re probably thinking what I’m thinking — the only possible way this can be done is… never mind, it probably can’t be done.
One of the oldest challenges in the book is still as difficult as it was all those years ago. Yet, people still try to master the task of eating six saltines in 60 seconds without drinking anything. This is another test that doesn’t seem to be too threatening on the surface, but it really is that difficult.
The reason is that the human saliva gland doesn’t produce enough spit in time to ingest six crackers, let alone two. The mouth needs you to drink water, but the rules of the challenge permit you from getting your lips on anything.
If you’re a fan of Peyton Manning like I am, then you should definitely search “Peyton Manning saltine cracker challenge” whenever you get the chance. Great story.
Cool Hand Luke
You thought we we’re going to talk about food challenges without mentioning Cool Hand Luke? HA! I haven’t laughed that hard in a while, thank you.
I’m assuming a lot of you don’t even know the film I’m referring to, let alone the specific scene, but no worries you can watch it here.
Anyways, the challenge at hand here is relatively simple: 50 hard-boiled eggs in under an hour. Now, Paul Newman makes it look simple, but don’t be deceived that easily — it’s a movie, not real life.
I’m sure that consuming that much food — let alone eggs — in that constricted of a time frame can’t be good on the stomach. Just look how exhausted and worn down he gets toward the end!
As impressive as 50 hard-boiled eggs in an hour is, it fails in comparison to this behemoth of a feast…
The Jumboli Challenge
This 80-pound Stromboli can be found at Trimbo’s Pizza in Butte, MT. If you manage to eat the 5-pound monstrosity thing in under an hour, you get a free t-shirt and your photo at the wall, because, you know, after you just stuffed your entire body to the brim is when you’re at your most photogenic.
Chompie’s Ultimate Sliders Challenge (pictured at the top)
The Chompie’s Ultimate Slider Challenge is 5-pounds of delicious agony comprised of 12 Jewish sliders and a mammoth pile of onion rings. If you ever find yourself in Phoenix, AZ and you’re in the mood to outdo Man vs. Food’s Adam Richman (who couldn’t complete the challenge) hit up Chompie’s.