The 17 Best Birth Control Methods Scientifically Ranked By Effectiveness Is Something You Probably Want To See

Paranoia is one of the major side effects of having lots of sex with lots of partners before you decide to settle down. You’re living in sin and living in fear. Fear that God is going to smite you something fierce by giving you an unsightly and irremovable growth on your dick, or putting a child in the girl-you-just-met’s womb. You try to mitigate your risks by being safe and using condoms, but nothing is perfect. According to this list of the most effective birth control methods,¬†pulled by FindTheBest from the CDC, if your only fear is pregnancy and you’re using condoms instead of just pulling out, you’re only gaining an extra 4% of assurance that there won’t be a child in your near future.

As always, the chart below is interactive.