According to Cass, the best time to take a dump is “approximately 15 to 30 minutes after your first sip of coffee.” Unfortunately for those of you who like having that nice gurgling feeling in your gut, signaling that you’re about to dump out at least three pounds of water weight, that’s not the “ideal” time according to Doctor Kenneth Koch, in an interview with Women’s Health.
So when is the best time to poo in the loo? Apparently right after you wake up:
According to Koch, the best time for pooing is not in a hurried, silent few minutes at work, or last thing at night before bed. It’s first thing in the morning, right after you wake up.
Koch explains that this is because your small intestine and colon process all the food you ate the day before as you sleep. By the time you wake up, your body’s ready to drop a load.(via)
If you’re not a morning pooper though, don’t worry – apparently the biggest thing when it comes to making sure your butthole is happy is regularity, meaning that you should aim to poop around the same time every day. So if you like to poop a few hours after you get up right around lunchtime, go for it.
But what happens if you don’t keep to a semi-consistent schedule? Not much – you’re more likely to feel the need to poo at random times during the day and will supposedly “end up feeling gassy and bloated.”
Eh…not the end of the world by any stretch of the imagination.