Everyone Shared Their Best ‘Tequila Stories’ And It’s True, Tequila Makes People Do Some Strange Things

by 4 years ago
Tequila Worm

Shutterstock / Triff


I’m unabashedly a huge fan of tequila. I don’t drink tequila as frequently as I do other spirits, but it’s most certainly in my top 3 with bourbon and scotch. Just like the people below who all drank tequila and went on to live out crazy nights I’ve had my fair share of tequila-fueled debauchery over the years, and if you’re lucky I’ll share my most embarrassing tequila story at the end of this article (it’s pretty good, I promise).

Below are people’s best tequila stories from an AskReddit thread, with everyone sharing the craziest things that happened under the influence of tequila:


abinitio86:
I was drinking with some buddies and one of them bet me $20 I couldn’t chug the 1/2 bottle of Jose we had left. Between being drunk and a dumb, young guy I showed no hesitation and chugged it. Immediately afterwards I threw up and the Ramen noodles I had eaten earlier were dangling from my mouth like tentacles. At this point I looked up and exclaimed, “I look like a motherfucking jellyfish, guys!” Bad move considering I was in the Army at the time, the jellyfish nickname stuck around for awhile.


Stronger_Raven:
I don’t remember and haven’t heard about it yet.


rupesmanuva:
Got blackout drunk in our student union, woke up the next day thinking I’d just walked home. Six months later, someone messages me to check out a stranger’s fb album from that night, and there I am, unconscious but still upright, in the middle of the dancefloor. People are posing with me, girls grinding on me, someone put a hat on me at one point… And apparently my unconscious tequila name is “bruce”


mickle66666:
When I was a freshman in college I was the one guy in my gang of friends who stayed in town to goto college, so I was pretty lonely my first semester. I went to a community college, so there were all sorts of interesting older people there. Anyways, I was friends with a classmate and we went over to her friend’s house, this guy named Myron. He was a veteran of both iraq wars.
Anyways long story short Myron got so wasted off of tequila he wound up pulling out a sword he claimed he recovered from one of Saddam’s palaces and drove it deep into his leg to prove how sharp it was. He was so wasted that even right up until the ambulance arrived he was walking around his living room talking about how f*king amazing Staind was. I don’t think I ever saw him around after that. God bless you Myron, you taught a naive 18-year-old a mighty valuable lesson about the power of tequila.


AHoddy:
Got into a drinking contest with a rugby player at university. I chose tequila as our poison. Rules were a shot a minute (with lemon and salt) until one of us quit or died.
16 shots in 10 minutes were consumed by both sides before we called it a draw. He then promptly exited the building, fell over and broke his jaw on the kerb whilst I staggered off and fell unconscious in a public toilet for 4 hours.
Tequila: not even once (any more!)


WhatWhenWhyWhere:
I woke up on the bathroom floor at a random persons apartment in with my shoes off, jeans pulled halfway down a blanket over me. Don’t recall the rest but it seems I passed out while pooping maybe. When I walked out in the kitchen there were rubber gloves, scrubbing bubbles and a note that said BATHTUB. It was full of puke which I couldn’t remember getting sick at all but I cleaned it anyway. It was the least I could do for whoever gave me the blanket!


SuperShinobi:
Drank a bunch of tequila, punched a big ass tree because I thought it was trying to fight me and broke my hand. That is the end of my tequila story.


desidomi:
16th birthday. Chugged tequila like water. Went to a random girls house party with a friend. Puked on her white carpet. Made out with the girl hosting the party’s boyfriend. Fought her on a camp fire. Got thrown into a truck and proceeded to puke out the window on the highway. Woke up with rips all over my shirt/jeans. Fun times!!!


Smooth_Psalms:
I live in a border town in south texas. So as teenagers we would cross the border into mexico drink a shitload for like 5-10 bucks and then walk back. One time on one of our day trips the tequila was flowing and we ended up at this strip club called coco bom bom. I go take piss in the restroom. While im in there a crackhead comes out the stall and pricks my homie walking in with a syringe thats in his hand and says something like bienvenida la viva de aids, which translate welcome to the world of AIDS! Me and my homie go ballastic we beat down the crackhead and stomped on him in the restroom untill this dude was half dead. We start freaking out!! My homies looked like a ghost. At the moment i knew real fear, i couldnt believed on the spot my homie had become HIV positive. We book it fast back across the border and I take straight to a hospital. His results came back negative, thank God! And that was the last time we went to mexico. 2007 was a crazy year. I still drink tequila once and a while, perferably a paloma, tequila and grapefruit soda.


jaddaprog:
I was in a wheel chair(broken fet from car accident) completely destroyed on tequila in college. I was young and still getting my drinking legs so 1.75 liter across 5 people wrecked me.
Long story short my friend pushed my me down the steps outside my dormroom. Was to drunk to care and laughed it off. We’re still great friends to this day.


So here’s my ‘tequila story’, or at least the first one that came to mind. I was in college, Spring Break in Mexico down in Playa del Carmen before that city blew up and turned into Cancun. We’d been out all night, getting hammered, drinking local well tequila. Me and 3 friends link up with a group of 5 girls, Spring Break style, and end up back at these girl’s condo. At this time in my life I was still smoking cigarettes (haven’t had a single cig since Halloween of 2007!) and early on I walk out to the porch to smoke one. Not noticing the sliding glass door I walk face first into it.

The first time in the night you walk into the sliding glass door it’s ‘haha’ funny. The second time in the night you walk into the sliding glass door people begin to worry that you might be too drunk, and the THIRD TIME that you walk into the same sliding glass door in one night it’s time to go home.

I don’t remember the circumstances of walking into the door the second time, I just remember it happening. And I remember what happened just before the third time I walked into the sliding glass door, because I was making a round of margaritas for all nine of us. I’d poured the tequila, ice, mixers and everything into the blender and went to put the glass portion of the blender on the base. Only I forgot to attach the bottom of the blender, so when I picked it up off the counter nine people’s drinks went spilling everywhere, likely bringing ants into their condo for the rest of Spring Break. I felt like a jackass so I went to go smoke another cig, walked face first into the sliding glass door for the third time, then I just opened that door and proceeded to go home. At this point the sun was already up and it was the next morning, so instead of going straight home I went and crushed some tacos, which miraculously helped me wake up the next afternoon without any hangover at all. The End. And if you’re curious, and I know you are, my favorite brand of tequila is Peligroso Tequila, they make the finest Silver and Añejo around, and I’m not bullshitting you at all here. Pick up a bottle and thank me later.

To read the rest of the ‘tequila stories’ on the AskReddit thread you can CLICK HERE.

Changing gears a little bit, I want to make sure that ALL OF YOU know about the all new BroBible iOS app that was launched last week. It’s 100% free to download and it’s the latest/greatest way to get all of your BroBible content, so DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE BY CLICKING HERE!

Cass Anderson is Managing Editor of BroBible. He graduated from Florida State University, has been to more Phish concerts than he’d like to admit, and primarily specializes in Outdoors and Gear-related content.

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