Biotech Company Will Try To Resurrect Clinically Dead Which Will Start The Zombie Apocalypse

The Walking Dead


A biotech company is set to attempt to resurrect the dead. U.S. biotechnology company Bioquark has gotten permission to try to reanimate brain-dead humans. I know what you’re about to say, “But Paul, this has already been done, the Kardashians are proof that the brain-dead can be brought to life.” To that I say, this company will resurrect clinically brain-dead humans so it’s slightly different.

For the first time in history, there will be an attempt to take clinically brain-dead humans and bring them back to life using an unprecedented stem cell procedure. The Philadelphia-based biotech company will try to reanimate a clinically dead people this year in an unidentified country in Latin America. The company’s CEO, Ira Pastor, revealed that they will soon be testing their Victor Frankenstein-esque ideas and will offer more details in the next few months. The company was planning to create zombies in India last year, but those plans were shot dead by the Indian Council of Medical Research. Have these scientists not watched The Walking Dead?

The scientists at Bioquark are leading the way with human neuro-regeneration and neuro-reanimation technology and believe brain death is irreversible. Bioquark has developed injections that can reboot the brain. The experiment will attempt to jumpstart their central nervous system back to life. If the upper spinal cord is rejuvenated then the thought is that vital body functions such as breathing and the heart pumping could resurrect the once dead person. The company has so much confidence in their ideas that they have skipped testing their injections on animals first. Yeah, that sounds exactly how the zombie apocalypse will ravage the world.

There are three stages of their controversial procedure. First, stem cells are harvested from the patient’s own blood and then injected back into their body. Then the patient would receive a dose of peptides injected into their spinal cord. Finally, the human would undergo nerve stimulation involving lasers over the course of 15 days in an attempt to bring back the specimen’s brain from the dead.

Since the people in the experiment are technically dead, the biotech company doesn’t need their consent. However, the definition of clinical death is tricky and inconsistent. Some definitions of clinical death say when any of the vital functions such as heartbeat, electrical brain activity or respiration have ceased. But because of the invention of the mechanical ventilator, a person can be kept alive even if they aren’t able to breathe on their own. Another issue is that hearts can sometimes be restarted after they stopped beating.

Jurassic Park

“This represents the first trial of its kind and another step towards the eventual reversal of death in our lifetime,” Pastor told the Telegraph. “To undertake such a complex initiative, we are combining biologic regenerative medicine tools with other existing medical devices typically used for stimulation of the central nervous system, in patients with other severe disorders of consciousness.”

As if the world wasn’t overpopulated already. You now have to worry about the clinically dead coming back to life and adding traffic to your already hellish commute.

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