Today in “Oh. Fuck. No. What The Fuck Is That Freaky Fucking Shit Living In The Goddamn Ocean?” (we’re workshopping the name, but not the concept, because the ocean is fucking full of freaky shit I don’t want or need in my life) a Bobbit Worm.
It’s three feet long, and it shoots poison that stuns its prey, so it can devour things much much larger than itself.
Like you. It can devour you (it probably can’t, but that’s not a bet I’m willing to make). To be safe, I’m Aqua Socking from here on out.
Fun Fact: They are named after Lorena Bobbit, because the woman worm’s scissor-like jaws look like they could cut a man’s dick off. No joke, they saw this thing’s jaws and were like, wow. That can cut a dick off.
Yea. Fuck this thing. Look how fucking long it is. Nothing should be that fucking long.
UP NEXT: Girl With Monster Legs Crushing Watermelon