So…There’s A Much Higher Chance That You’ve Had Sex With Your Cousin Than You Probably Thought

“I know we just met last night, but it’s like I’ve known you all my life.”

Ok, so that’s likely not how any of this sex-with-cousin stuff goes. Unless, of course, you and your first cousin are total grossouts who don’t care that you’re related and fuck anyway. Which, in that case, sick. Also, kindly do the rest of us a solid and remove yourselves from earth as soon as possible. Thanks.

According to a recent study conducted throughout Britain by AncestryDNA, one in every 300 people you come across is, in fact, a cousin. Distant or otherwise.

Via to Science Alert:

A new demographic analysis by genealogy service AncestryDNA provides some truly fascinating statistics that highlight just how interwoven the family histories of British people can be. Turns out, for the average Brit, there’s a one-in-300 chance that a complete stranger is in fact their cousin.

“It’s incredible to think that many of us will be in daily contact with unknown relatives – with no idea that we share much more than the same sporting team or commute to work,” said Brad Argent, commercial director of AncestryDNA.

Using a population growth model along with census information and fertility rate data from various sources, researchers at AncestryDNA found that the average British person has 193,000 living cousins within Britain. That’s enough cousins to fill Wembley Stadium twice over.

So where does all the sex disgustingness come in? Well, considering that the average male is an underachiever and only has 10-ish sexual partners in their life — How is the average that low? Seriously, fellas. Get out there and plug — Metro UK has taken the liberty of figuring out that there is a 1-30 chance that you’ve had sex with your cousin. Again, this guesstimate is based on only having 10 sexual partners in your lifetime. For those of us with more than that, we’ve probably fucked a distant cousin or 10 at some point in our despicable lives. But as the saying goes, “It’s better to have accidentally fucked a relative than to have never fucked at all.”

That’s a saying, right? Sure it is…