When all the semantics are stripped away and everything gets down to the bare basics, these are the rules of how to easily shnag a lady:
1. Be Attractive
2. Don’t be unattractive
It’s really that simple. Sure you probably shouldn’t be a giant douchebag as well, and if you’re poor and living in your mom’s basement that’s not exactly much of a draw either…but hey, that’s what pickup lines are for, right? You’re an “okay” lookin’ dude, but you need that extra something to be able to pull a number from a girl. With any luck, these pickup lines that guys threw down at the perfect moments according to the Ask Reddit thread “What is the best way you’ve seen a guy hit on a girl?” will inspire you the next time opportunity rears its head and say “Well? What’ve you got?”
My buddy was riding a moped and actually hit a girl while she was getting out of her car. It was her fault, she literally opened the door and got out into him. He went over the door, I swear it looked like a cartoon. He got up and brushed himself off, and then told the girl “I’ll have you know that moped was worth exactly one date.” They’ve been married for almost 7 years now. 🙂
I was at a party.
Everyone has been enjoying adult beverages very responsibly.
This girl starts spouting off loudly
“Why is sex over when the guy gets off? Sex should be over when the girl gets off!”
And this smooth older guy goes
“See that wouldn’t work for me.”
“… Because then sex would be over way too quickly.”
She gets this big banana grin and he proceeds to drink his beer like he didn’t know it was a joke.
When I left the party they were still talking.
This one doesn’t result in a marriage or anything, but in terms of hitting on a girl it’s so ballsy I love it.
A buddy of mine used to go up to a girl at the bar, take HER drink, slug it down in one go, then sit down and smile, saying “Hey, you look like you need a drink.”
Unbelievably, it worked sometimes.
The best/worst way I’ve ever been hit on:
I was walking in the city. A very, very old man sitting on a bench says “Honey! Honey, I gotta tell you. You are an angel from heaven above! Beautiful! Beautiful!” I blushed and said thank you and kept walking, feeling awesome. As I was waiting at the intersection, less than 20 seconds later, a guy on a bike rides by and yells “DAMN LEMME SEE DAT PUSSY!”
I’m a straight male, and I can tell you that my best mate is one of the best looking lads I’ve ever seen. I love him to bits, but hate going out with him because the second we go anywhere, girls are literally jumping all over him. He’s tall, good looking, chiselled jaw, messy dark hair (just trying to paint a picture).
Anyway, we’re at this party and I’m talking to him, and this girl walks up to him, elbows me out of the way (this happens a lot) and tries to kiss him. Bearing in mind, this girl is crazy hot, and you know what he does? He pushes her away. Acts completely uninterested.
Every girl in the vicinity snaps her head over once the alpha female got rejected, and from that point on he was swimming in girls, they were all over him. Heck, a few of them even spoke to me. He’s a genius.
Get a buddy reaaallll drunk and tell him to hit on a girl. When he blows it we swoop in and apologize for our drunk friend, buy em a drink if required to, and boom. In there like swimwear. Works 90% of the time… All the time.
I once saw a very good looking friend of mine walk up to a girl, bought her a drink, asked her name and said, “Can I fuck you?”.
Unbelievably, she said yes and they disappeared for 2 hours. I was stunned.
They returned looking sweaty and dishevelled and spent the rest of the night chatting and flirting.
They have been dating for two years.
At a fancy party, I was in heels and a little drunk, stumbled down the last few stairs on the staircase. Nothing serious. A smartly dressed guy rushes over, helps me to my feet. Once I’m back to my vertical self, he takes my hand, looks me dead in the eye and says “I’m sorry. I should have been there to catch you.”
Panties dropped all the way to China I swear.
My buddy Will is the master of hitting on girls. This is a story from his college days. He’s an eccentric person, and always made paper flowers out of the napkins in our university cafeteria. For over a year, he hid these flowers around our residency hall, and the notorious “rose kid” was born.
People talked about the roses around school, and he always hid them in weirder places. The cafeteria women would wear them in their hair, and they adorned the front desk. I shit you not, multiple girls began collecting entire bouquets of them.
Come the next year, my buddy has a lot more confidence, and he starts initiating a lot of conversations with potential lady friends. Frequently, he would go up to random girls and hand them flowers to initiate conversations.
One time, we were on the city bus doing the crossword, and he saw a cute girl in front of him. She had a bag of groceries and was looking the other way. He tossed the flower into her groceries and she didn’t notice. Minutes later, he dropped his paper onto her bag, and she looked over and up at him. He apologizes, leans over to grab it, and says “Huh, where’d you get that flower.” He talked to her the rest of the 20 minute bus ride as I sat there on my phone….
Best one I’ve seen. I was sitting at the bar with a buddy of mine and there was an attractive woman on the other side of him. He says, “watch this”, and proceeds to turn to face her and introduce himself. They shake hands and when their hands touched, he grabs her hand and say, “hey, you have such small hands, my dick is going to look huge”. I had to put my head down on the bar because I was almost crying laughing and fully expecting him to get a good ol slap for that one. NOPE! She laughs, and they proceed to flirt it up. Still amazed that worked
Ehh, this story is about me. Was at a party, talked to this tall thin red head for not even two minutes. Cops show up and shut the party down, her friend asks her if she is coming home with her that night, so I interrupt her and say “We were just talking and she’s actually coming home with me tonight.” Her friend turns to her and asks “Oh, you’re going home with him then?” She looks at me and nonchalantly says “Looks like I am.” Never in a million years did I expect that to work. Then we went to my place and did things.