Your Commander in Chump Won’t Perform the Ice Bucket Challenge


Barack Obama, who was last seen shirking his responsibilities to both the American people and the world by having the gall to perform his job at a location different than his main office while also undergoing some light physical activity, is failing us again.

How? Well, where to fucking start? How about the big screw you to ALS he gave today, when he refused to do the ice bucket challenge. The President, who was nominated by Ethel Kennedy to remind you that all of American politics is controlled by a tiny cabal of the super rich, politely declined to pour cold water over his head. Probably thinks it’s undignified.

“The President appreciates Mrs. Kennedy thinking of him for the challenge – though his contribution to this effort will be monetary,” the White House told the Boston Globe. “The President will be making a donation to an ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) charity this week.”

Yea, okay. Money. Good for him. Wahoo. It ain’t about money. Think of the people he could have nominated who would thus be practically required to do it. Justin Bieber. Imagine if the President challenged Justin Bieber to take the bucket. Man, that would be like, a blog post we could write about it. Which would draw SO much traffic. See how he screwed us? SEE?

Ugh. Like I said, Commander-in-chump.

($100 is probably more than everyone else gave. Except, it should be noted, Taylor Swift).

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