Lazy FBI Gives Up On One Of Its Biggest Open Cases Ever, Calls It Quit Without Solving D.B. Cooper Mystery

Don’t you wish that when work got hard, difficult, impossible, you could just say screw it?

Maybe you should sign up for the FBI (here’s a link explaining how you can), because it appears when they can’t get the job done, they get to say “Fuck it,” and move on.

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig, don’t it?

In 1971, D.B. Cooper hijacked a plane out Portland, saying he had a bomb, demanding $200,000 in cash. He was given the money in Seattle and told the pilots to take him to Mexico. Somewhere over the Pacific Northwest, he parachuted out, never to be seen again.

It’s one of the most vexing crimes in American history, and the FBI just gave up trying to solve it.

“Unfortunately, none of the well-meaning tips or applications of new investigative technology have yielded the necessary proof,” FBI spokeswoman Ayn Dietrich-Williams said in a statement declaring the case closed.

According to Dietrich-Williams, the 45-year investigation was one of the longest in FBI history, but today, the lone agent working on it was reassigned.

Quitters.

[Via The Hill]