Let’s come up with a list of ways to combat erectile dysfunction:
Sure there’s probably other ways, like shoving a 13-centimeter long metal rod into your dick, but I’m- oh wait just kidding, that’s probably the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Don’t believe me (why the fuck don’t you believe me)? Ask Kang Niu, the guy who learned from first-hand experience that shoving a metal rod up your dick is not only a horrible idea, but it might also kill you.
A man who tried to improve his sex life by sticking a steel rod down his penis almost died when it shot into his bladder during intercourse.
Kang Niu, 52, inserted the 13-centimetre long steel rod into his penis after he began having problems getting an erection.
He told medics he felt this was the reason he was struggling to find and keep a girlfriend.
As a result he came up with the idea of a steel reinforcement using a metal rod with a narrow tube down the middle.
A spokesman at Second Hospital in the Chinese city of Hengyang said: “He believed that using this would give him a prolonged sexual experience.”
But the first time he tried it the rod shot backwards inside him and stabbed his bladder. Despite being in agony, he reportedly said nothing for months, hoping that he would eventually be able to pass the rod back out again.
Even as a girl there’s still so much “NOPE” going on for me in here. How the hell do you walk around for minutes with a metal rod stabbin’ around on your insides, let alone MONTHS? I award you 5 points for a high pain threshold, but then I’m going to take away another 5,000 points for being a fucking idiot. Congratulations.