Chubbies — purveyor of fine men’s shorts that hike up way above your knees — has been on a quest to find their own Derek Zoolander. Over the past few months, they’ve asked their gazillion billion followers on social media to send in applications to be their next “man model.” The gig sounds pretty sweet — it guarantees a two year modeling contract (read: $$$$$$$$$$$$ for being an eccentric-looking weirdo) and free Chubbies shorts for life.
They’ve narrowed the pool down to 20 finalists, which means they’ve opened up the voting to the public. A real standout is Logan R a.k.a. Yoleaux, an aspiring Chubbies man model from NOLA. His goal is to revolutionize male modeling with his gnarly dad bod and lack of manscaping standards, one Hot Pocket at a time. And he wants the gig so bad that he shot the video above, complete with the following description:
In the late 80s I was plucked from wherever babies come from and plopped down in Durham, NC. The scent of magnolia and spring rain was in the air as the doctor held me high, then dipped me down into a cold keg of beer. Once he knew I would remain chill all my life, he pulled me out and said, “There was a time when a man was free to be a man. When chest hair was holy and the mustache was king.” And so I was sent forth to spread the word of “dad chic.”
And here I remain, sharing the gospel of the lawn game, the breakfast meat and the tank top. A beacon of bacon, the light at the end of the funnel, a Robin Hood for the unkempt and the un-coiffed. Hey, sometimes you’ve gotta get back up to get down.
Alas, becoming a Man Model takes panache. It takes gumption. It takes eyes and a nose and a mouth all strategically placed by fate for looks rather than efficiency. Above all, it takes flexibility. Did you know that some people can’t even raise their arms over their heads? Well I can. And my legs too.
Go vote this buttery sex panther over at Chubbies.