People Shared The Awesome Stories Of How They Got Fired Their First Day On The Job

It takes a very special kind of stupid or a really horrible boss to get fired on your first day at a new job.

So when Redditor roor1337, started an “Ask Reddit” thread with the question, “People who got fired on the first day of the job, what happened?” you know its going to be entertaining.

Here are some of the best stories of workplace failure at its finest…

Not me…but happened when I was working at McDonald’s. New guy came in and when he saw that we were trashing patties if they had been sitting too long, he ate one…then he started just eating them from the supply…dude must have inhaled 10-12 patties over a couple hours after repeatedly being told to stop. Eventually, he started making himself a burger with the buns and eating it as well. Got fired first day on the job.

I’m still convinced he had no real plans of working and just wanted to see how many free burgers he could eat before getting canned. ~ PotatoLatkes

Got hired. Day 1 after orientation, got desk set up, boss walked in and told us this branch was closing, don’t come tomorrow.

Got 2 months severance pay. ~ Betruul

Janitor job at a hospital, cleaning bathrooms in the patients’ rooms. An old lady laying in her bed called me over and said she was born in Germany and she’d learned to speak English but couldn’t read it very well. She had a get-well card from someone and asked me to read the poem inside. I did. Someone reported me because I wasn’t supposed to “interact with patients.” Got fired before lunch. ~ NoxWild

I got into a fist fight with the owner’s son. In my defense, he started it. ~ mankiller27

Lost balance of the serving tray and spilled hot soup all over the owner. ~ malgoya

This was about 10 years ago, and not mine, but a homeboy of mine got an awesome job at a tech company out here in Cali… We’re talking B+/A- level job with big name company not more than 6 months out of college. His resume was outstanding, his interviews were amazing, and he impressed all of the Directors at the “Handshake” party. After spending a full day (literally) there, he was given the offer letter. He got everything he wanted. He was given the 5pm HR paperwork treatment, shown his future office, introduced to the office pool, and was formally announced through company e-mail. He shook hands for the last time around 8pm, and walked out the front door to his car.

My friend couldn’t contain his excitement and he did a burnout in the parking lot as he was leaving. He figured the parking lot was empty, and no one would notice.

He got a call the next morning, “Based upon your reckless actions last night in the parking lot, we’ve decided to terminate our working relationship. ~ Harvey_BirdmanESQ

I showed up and the guy that was supposed to train me got fired. No one else was available to train me apparently, so they told me I was no longer needed. I was to young to put up a fight, or ask for any alternatives. ~ VACWS

Snowed three feet, couldn’t get out of my driveway. Called the new boss, told me not to ever bother coming in… ~ juzam182

I got this. When I was 17 I got a job at Chuck E Cheese. I worked the front door and once an hour I had to put on the Chucky costume and parade around the place. Here’s the deal with those. Kids are dicks. They kept constantly running up to me and hugging me and punching me in the crotch. After about five hours of this I’d had enough. I purposely didn’t attach the head to the body. It was supposed to button in to place. So after the 20th or so time being Nut checked I had enough. I backed up, did a stupid little dance. Grabbed my head piece and slowly began to twist it around my head. The kids started to freak. Some screamed, some cried. Parents started protesting. The older kids started laughing. The attendant who was with me fell out in laughter. I thought it was hilarious, however the restaurant manager who hired me didn’t think it was that funny. I got ushered out the back door and banned from that particular Chuck E Cheese. Do I think it was worth it? Hell yes I do. ~ jessesdaddy23

First job ever at Burger King. Bored off my arse on the tills on day one and this party of drunk girls come in and start flirting with me and messing round asking what they can have for free. I told them nothing (my manager was literally right behind me) but once he cleared off I just took a whole load of burgers and made six ice cream Sundaes. So anyway I took them over to their table to get some loving and I mentioned that I was new and my manager was a bit of a twat which is why I didn’t do it earlier. Imagine my delight when after flirting for five minutes I saw him sitting down on the table behind them (on his break) staring at me like I had just raped his Guinea pig. I just walked straight downstairs and out the door. Didn’t even wait to get fired. ~ Jblonde002

A guy showed up on his first day, went through orientation, then out for beers with his boss and a few others. His boss was talking about his 16 year old girl and the new guy straight face said “Is she hot?”… this was a 24+ year old dude. His first day was his last. ~ stratospaly

Cleaned houses for old people, fired up one of their vacuum cleaners. It made a sound like a siren, so I jokingly yelled: “The Germans are coming!” (A common response for me).

I’m from a country previously occupied by Germans. The old people were old enough. ~ Harkha

They called me and told me I was let go for not showing up on my first day. Which was a surprise for me since at no point after the interview had I been told that I’d been hired. ~ deftss

Door to door sales for an Energy company. Had food poisoning. Pooped my pants in a clients living room. ~ underhill_

And I think we have a winner!

Check out the rest of the hilarious swift unemployment stories over at Reddit.

Angry boss image by Shutterstock