This 19-Year-Old Floridian Was Arrested For Making Sweet, Sweet Love To A Stuffed Toy Horse In Walmart

Meet 19-year-old Sean Johnson, the newest inductee of Florida’s heavy populated WTF?!? Hall of Fame. Like many of those inducted before him, Johnson reached his HoF status by way of a bizarre public sex act. Namely, he fucked a stuffed toy horse in the Walmart bedding section and put it back on the self with his fresh load inside of it. He would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for ALL THE GODDAMN CAMERAS WALMART HAS. That’s what those little black pods on the ceiling are, Sean!

According to The Smoking Gun:

According to cops, Sean Johnson, 19, walked to the store’s bedding department with a stuffed toy horse and proceeded to pleasure himself–a lewd act that was captured by surveillance cameras.

While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers.

Johnson–who reportedly confessed to police–was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.

The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.

That final sentence!

Let me ask you this question, Walmart merchandise staff: What scenario would have had to exist to put the stuffed toy horse — that got fucking penetrated by Sean Johnson’s penis — back on the shelf for sale? I’m dying to know.

[H/T The Smoking Gun]