If you don’t want to stay awake trembling with fear tonight, please don’t proceed any further and DEFINITELY do not watch the stomach-churning video of the largest leech you didn’t ever want to see.
No, this is not an educational video on how the government’s tax system works, this is actually less repulsive. It is a video of a man who has a pet leech. Does this gentleman not understand that their are dogs, cats, goldfish and even rocks available as pets?
As with all pets, you must feed them, however feeding your pet leech is a little more complicated. You can’t just leave a bowl of Kibbles ‘n Bits and go about your merry day. You basically have to give a fucking transfusion. This bloodsucking parasite (I say that affectionately) is gorging on a blood buffet on his owner’s arm. Apparently the owner gives leechy three square meals a day and it shows with all the prick marks on his arm.
And just look at how massive this creature is! Must be like a foot fucking long!?!? I thought this was the largest leech that I had ever seen in my life, but then I remembered that my ex-girlfriend who never had a job throughout our 3-year relationship was about 5’4″ tall.
Now don’t go being Mr. or Mrs. Smartypants and telling me, “Well leeches and bloodletting have been used for medical purposes for thousands of years.” Do you know what else they did thousands of years ago? Trepanning. That’s where if you had a headache they would drill a hole in your skull and drain the “evil spirits” giving you a migraine. It’s 2015, get some Obamacare and go to the urgent care clinic and get some medical advice from this century.
I’d say, “Kill it with fire!” but there isn’t enough fire in Hell for me to be adequately assured that it won’t slither away and then eat me alive when I’m sleeping.