Given the choice between having sex with one of my friend’s dads or scooping my brain through my nose with a spoon, I’d gladly snag a ladle out of my kitchen and shove that motherfucker up there as far as it’ll go. The same can’t necessarily be said, however, for the anonymous guy who wrote into a “Dear Coleen” column asking for help with his girlfriend’s mom. Supposedly the problem is that the mom won’t stop hitting on him, but I’ll let you make your own opinions before I give you mine:
My problem is that I think my mum-in-law-to-be is hitting on me. At first I thought I was imagining it, but I really don’t think I am.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two years, but her mum only started flirting with me about six months ago after I redecorated her beauty salon for her (I’m a painter and decorator).
I saw her pretty much every day for about three weeks while the work was going on and, not that I want to blow my own trumpet, but I think she developed a thing for me.
Since then she’s been very touchy-feely with me, uses any excuse to hug and kiss me, and is always making suggestive (but jokey) comments when we’re all together.
My girlfriend hasn’t said anything and I’m sure she’d probably laugh in my face if I told her what I think. But I feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to do about it.
I should mention that her mum is pretty hot and all my mates fancy her.
Should I tell my girlfriend, who’s very close to her mum, or just ignore this unwanted attention?(via)
Now, believe it or not just because a woman is really nice to you doesn’t mean she’s looking to fuck. You know that, right? Because apparently this guy doesn’t. The fact that she makes suggestive comments while everyone’s together tells me that they’re genuinely just jokes, whereas if she said them in private between just her and our unnamed writer you could read further between the lines. As for being touchy-feely, some people have boundary issues – I once had a friend who used to get so close to my face while talking that I could smell last night’s 3 a.m. Taco Bell run on her breath, but that doesn’t mean she was a lesbian looking to scissor in my closet.
Only the hot mom in this story can answer whether or not she’s tryna make fuck, but if I were the guy I wouldn’t take any chances. Even if his girlfriend would likely laugh in her face, it’s best to tell her now just in case she does make a move. That way when he (hopefully) turns her down and informs his girlfriend of what a piece of shit she’s got for a mother, there’s at least some precedence to the behavior and it doesn’t get thrown at her out of the blue.
What do you think – is Hot Mom looking to fuck, or is this guy reading into her behavior too much?
[H/T Mirror]