Researchers Unable To Conclude Why Goth Teens Are Likely To Be Depressed, Should Be Fired


My job is to blog about things I find on the internet. If, for some reason, one day, I went to my boss and said, “Hey, Boss, I don’t know how to find things on the internet anymore,” I would rightfully be fired.

So today I am calling for the firing of researchers at the University of Bristol who, when they found that goth teens were more depressed than regular teens, were unable to determine why.

Here’s a fucking thought. BECAUSE THEY’RE GOTHS. You know, because they chose a whole identity based around gloom and doom.

I shit you not this happened, according to the BBC:

Young people who identify as goths may be at increased risk of depression and self-harm, a study suggests.

Researchers could not fully explain the link, but suggest a tendency for goths to distance themselves from society could play a part.

I can fully explain the link right now. Goths tend to attract depressed people, because of the aforementioned wallowing in misery the identity relishes in. Once you enter that mix, it becomes a negative feedback loop.

People don’t identify as goths to be happy, unlike researchers, who apparently identify as such to come off as smart, when they are in fact idiots.


[H/T Gothamist]