Rule 43 of the Internet states that if you’re willing to look for something long enough, you will find it. What does that mean? It means I could type “L’oreal kids shampoo bottle porn” into Google and I’d probably find something, although whether or not an anthropomorphic shampoo bottle would succeed in getting my rocks off is a different story. The point is, if you can think it up, it’s out there.
Case in point: “I Am Groot.” Yep, someone, somewhere out there in the world thought to themselves “Hey, you know what’d be a great idea? A porno fanfiction from Groot’s point of view. That right there is what the people are CLAMORING for!”
And so that person sat down and wrote this. I won’t lie, I had trouble reading it at work because I was afraid someone would actually take the time to read what was on my screen and realize what a blatant pervert I am. Since the whole process of reading this was such a pain in the ass, I took the time out of my day to screencap the sexiest parts for your enjoyment. You’re welcome.
The author, “sherlocksmyth,” noted that he/she/whichever “Had to take a break halfway through writing this fic because the raw emotion overpowered me.” I don’t blame ya dude, I felt like my eyes need a bleach bath after reading this.
And now you’ll never look at Groot the same way.
[H/T Daily Dot]