Some idiot in London who apparently hated being named Sam Smith, which is really a pretty great name, has chosen to legally change his name to “Bacon Double Cheeseburger.” Just as we all predicted.
From The Evening Standard, via FTW:
Mr. Cheeseburger explained: “It was the culmination of probably too many drinks in the pub where there was a conversation about names. Bacon Double Cheeseburger was pretty much the first thing that came up. Everyone loves bacon don’t they? Cheeseburger works as an oil and gas consultant, where he noted he likes to sign off emails with ‘B D Cheeseburger.'”
Noted. As the great David Bowie told us numerous times, we can be heroes, just for one day. See that, Sam? Just. For. One. Day.
But now your name is “Bacon Double Cheeseburger.” And it’s not for one day.
It’s kind of sad that “Bacon Cheeseburger” wasn’t quite enough. Bacon DOUBLE Cheeseburger ’til I die, bro.
Let’s hear from BDC’s fianceé, or rather from the fianceé via BDC:
“My fiancée is fairly reluctant about marrying a Cheeseburger. That’s something we’re discussing a lot. No girl ever dreams of spending her big day marrying a man called Bacon.”
Inspiring shit. On that note, I will now go order salad and, shortly thereafter, shall order myself directly off the steepest cliff.