Guy Marries Tree For Second Time So Obviously The Things Still Give Him Wood

It was love at first sight. He’s a man. She’s a tree. They got married. We obviously know who will live the longest unless, I don’t know, tree bugs or something.

Richard Torres, an actor and environmentalist, wanted to show the world how much he loves nature. Last Sunday, Torres married a tree at a national park in Bogotá, Columbia. Torres is somewhat of a polygamist — this is the second tree he’s married.

Although the marriage was more of a symbolic joining, and is the second time he’s been united with a tree, Torres is trying to raise awareness for a good cause. Torres was trying to encourage rebels of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Columbia to plant trees instead of inciting war.

Oh, it’s only symbolic? That’s no fun. I thought Torres was going around, fucking trees. This is all a sham. This totally makes my marriage to the hedges outside my apartment seem like a joke. Yes, we were married last summer. What can I say, I love bush.

H/T The Stupid News Network

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