How to Handle the ‘What Are We’ Conversation With a Chick, Plus a Bro Has a Really Strange Addiction

Q: Referring to the last question in your last post about the “where the fuck are we” question, how should it be handled if the situation was a normal (similar age) relationship?


A: Valid question, but still a similar answer. I feel like we've got a good thing going here guys, and honesty really is the best policy so I'ma be real with you. You're getting dicked around. If a girl is openly seeing other dudes and showing no interest in getting serious with you…that probably won't change. You're letting her have her way- which sounds like a great fucking time, for her– and a fucking embarrassing one for you. If you want to get serious with her put the issue on the table. She either takes the bait or peaces out. Or continues to demean your manhood.


Q: I have a secret, burning passion for Gossip Girl. Blake Lively is my dream girl, I'm enthralled with the “oh fucking shit” type moments, the music is always great, and the show is brimming with dimes. Basically, my question would be what do chicks think of a bro who likes Gossip Girl (or other such series)? Is it a “wow, what a confident and honest bro” or “wow, I really hope he's not gay” situation?


A: What is it with you guys anyways? As a 15-25 year old female, I, presumably (and begrudgingly) am a target viewer for this genre of brain novocaine; and I lost interest after one season. Yet somehow, you're the dude five years later jerking off to fantasies of being Chuck Bass and fucking Blake Lively and shit. Of course I don't blame you for the latter, but the Chuck obsession I still find difficult to wrap my head around. Which shouldn't come as a surprise, considering NO REAL PERSON IS LIKE THAT. Five packs a day, a pound of indica and all of god's money couldn't create what is his voice, eyes and character, respectively.

Anyways I'm not singling you out and calling you gay per your potential concerns, because a ton of other totally straight and quasi-normal dudes share your odd fascination. I won't however say that it's a turn on, or something you should bring up as an ice breaker. 

Q: So I've been casually hooking up with this dude- he's really sexy, and is the type who knows it. I recently found out through mutual friends that he is a total dog about town. He hooks up with new girls every weekend and most recently had a casual threesome after dinner with some random chicks. I know he can get away with this stuff but will it ever end?

A: The unfortunate response to that is, until (if) he loses his devastating good looks to old age, he'll continue to use them to his advantage. I mean shit; can you blame the guy? If girls were crawling on top of me to fuck them at the same time as their babe girlfriends…I'd have to oblige. And why, wouldn't you.
I actually think I wish I WAS this guy.

Dudes will be dudes and if they're babes…life's a fucking beach and they're just playing in the sand; and we let them.

As a superior being of sexuality, the ball is in their court and all shots are off. It's simply the way of the game. I think that does it for my rap and sports references for the day.

Q: Hey babe. This girl and I started hooking up back in my senior year of high school and I took her v-card. She's smart, pretty but can be annoying and a buzz kill sometimes. This was really off-putting back in high school and I began seeing other girls on the side. Although we never talked about what we were, we were kind of steady during my pledge semester but didn't really talk too much besides sex. Once the semester ended, we stopped talking all together. Without saying anything to me, she picked up a boyfriend and has been dating him ever since. Being single again, I realized that I miss her and kinda want her back. Should I try to contact her or just leave it alone?

A: Though tempting to do otherwise, I do believe it's best to resist returning to the first pants you ever got in. The sex wasn't great and you've got baggage for days. Plus you mentioned that she's annoying and a buzz-kill; and you only “kinda” want her back. Since when are those tempting traits? Reopening that bag of bullshit will be messier than the first time you tried to cum on her chest. Ah…memories.

Finally, who's to say that bag isn't fully sealed anyways? She's got a boyfriend and you're kinda single and sorta bored. The number of things not worth revisiting definitely outweighs the potential positive outcomes, so all signs point to leave it alone, dude.

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[Couple image via ShutterStock]