Hipster Tries To Crowdfund Dates With Women But Man Vows To Ruin Them With Accordion

Meet Tom Packer, a 26-year-old bartender/music editor/BDSM sex relationship blogger from London who is looking for love.

Tom is a fan of poetry, Taylor Swift and fashionable hats from the 1920’s.


Unfortunately Tom doesn’t have the cash to take a lucky lass on a date so he started a crowdfunding campaign to raise money. The hipster is attempting to receive £1,300 to pay for 13 dates in order to find true love.

You can receive a “thank you” email for £1 donation, a signed photo of Tom for £10, a date with Tom for £100 and for £500 you get a date and a poem. Sounds too good to be true.

However not everyone has been so supportive of Tom’s quest to get free dates.

One individual started a campaign to fund to catapult Tom to the face of the sun, which to be very honest doesn’t seem like a financially feasible endeavor, not to mention the difficulty of actually physically projecting him into space.

One gentleman named Phillip Stewart, who listed his occupation as “Ruiner,” was so enraged by Tom’s attempt to subsidize dates that he started his own Indiegogo campaign called “Ruin Tom’s 13 Dates.”

“Hi I’m Phil. And there is a guy called Tom who is raising £1300 for 13 dates. I want to ruin them,” the destroyer proclaimed.

Phil detailed his sinister plans to sabotage Tom’s dates:

“I need this money to go into some London pubs and have a few pints with my accordion before venturing out into town to serenade Tom and whatever lunatic has agreed to go out with him.

I will be able to find them I’m sure because Tom is obviously some sort of crazy narcissist who I guarantee will publicly post every step of the process on social media.

I also have a trumpet kazoo which has already been kindly donated.”

Phil is encouraging people to contribute to his worthwhile cause by offering a “high five, or something” to anyone who donates a pound, and a ride on his motorbike for anyone who coughs up £500. How could you not give to such a noble charity?

Sadly, both Tom’s and Phil’s campaigns ended without enough funding. Tom was only able to get £227 from some gullible saps and Phil only garnered £45 from his efforts. True romance is dead.