Turns Out Hitler Had A Micro Penis In Addition To Only Having One Testicle

Thanks to a couple of huge, important historical break-throughs, we now know just how messed up the most evil human being of all time was downstairs. Back in December a German historian unearthed Hitler’s medical records to discover that the Nazi leader only had one testicle. Now we know that he was missing more than just a nut — He suffered from a micro-penis too. Via The Sun:

New records show the fascist leader also had a related condition called Hypospadias — which can leave the sufferer with a “micro-penis”.

Hypospadias sufferers may be forced to urinate out of a small hole at the base, or shaft of the penis, rather than at the tip.

In new book Hitler’s Last Day: Minute by Minute, historians Jonathan Mayo and Emma Craigie contend the Nazi leader kept the dark secret close to him: “Hitler himself is believed to have had two forms of genital abnormality: an undescended testicle and a rare condition called penile Hypospadius in which the urethra opens on the underside of the penis.”

Apparently he coped with his micro-penis and abnormally low libdo so he could bang his lady, Eva Braun, with a cocktail of “amphetamines, hormones and cocaine on occasion,” reports The Sun.

Except they really never banged:

Nazi architect Albert Speer, who was responsible for designing colossal buildings for Hitler, said the leader’s absent sex drive was very noticeable following the war: “By no means would I describe Adolf Hitler as sexually normal in his relationships with women,” he said.

“In the case of Eva Braun in particular, it seems clear to me that aside from occasional passionate episodes there was no sexual activity at all for long periods of time.”

Now excuse me while I play the world’s smallest violin for the murderous Nazi bastard.

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com