Former Inmate Robs Bank And Immediately Surrenders — Gives Cops Incredibly Sad Reason For Wanting To Go Back To Jail

A former prisoner robbed a bank last week and handed out the money to people on the street. Then she begged cops to take her back to jail. Why? Because prison is an way easier life.

FBI Special Agent Tory Smith said in court documents that Linda Patricia Thompson entered a US Bank branch in Cheyenne and handed a teller a cardboard note that said, “I have a gun. Give me all your money.”

The teller turned over thousands of dollars.

Outside, Thompson threw money into the air and even offered some to people passing by, Smith stated. He added that Cheyenne police Lt. Nathan Busek said he found Thompson with a large sum of money when he arrived at the bank.

Investigators said the 59-year-old told them “she wanted to go back to prison.” She said she “couldn’t get a room at a homeless shelter and decided to rob the bank Wednesday because she could no longer stay on the streets.” She also suffered facial fractures after strangers beat her at a Cheyenne park last weekend.

Yeah, the first people I thought of too when I read this sad story were Brooks and Red from Shawshank Redemption. You’re not alone.

Before the bank robbing incident, Thompson had been serving time at Coffee Creek Correctional Facility in Wilsonville, Oregon. She was found guilty of second-degree robbery and was released in June. Thompson told investigators of this robbery that “she didn’t want to be released and advised the Oregon state parole office that she would not do well on parole.”

I realize she’s a convicted criminal — at least the first time — but you’ve got to feel bad for these people sent back out into a world that doesn’t want them anymore.

I also feel bad that I wasn’t outside that bank.

[via Yahoo!]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.