I love watching Hoarders, if only because seeing people who live in disgusting homes and do disgusting things like collect dead cats makes me feel better about my life. My roommate ate pizza the other night and we’re coming up on day three of a random slice from the pie sitting out on the kitchen counter. No plastic wrap, no plate — just a slice of pizza chillin’ for everyone to see as it rots next to the sink.
Nowhere near as “tasty” though as what Rohan James found upon evicting his tenant for neglecting to pay rent!
What he saw when he entered were piles upon piles of clothes, takeaway boxes and bottles of various shapes and sizes all filled with urine – even though the bedroom had a sink and was next to the bathroom.
He explained: “I was speechless and just couldn’t fathom it. I just stood there for a few minutes once I realised what it was and I was furious.
“I could only make out two or three bottles at first, but when I looked closer they were just everywhere.”(via)
Everywhere, you say?
Oh yes. Indeed, that does count as “everywhere.”
James guesstimates “there were about 100 bottles, but it turned out to be over 200.” Okay so…what was the exact number? Because 201 and 299 are both technically numbers larger than 200. So are 500, 600 and 725. This is important information I need to know in order to continue about my daily life, and James is not being helpful in terms of clarity.
He also found a ‘penis pump’ – what he expects was a contraption used to aid urinating into the bottles – and cola cans stuffed full of condoms.(via)
Again – not helping me determine how many pee bottles there were, but I suppose this bonus information should count for something.
Rather than hire a professional cleaning service and sitting back in a lounge chair sipping lemonade while watching them deal with Pisspocalypse 2k16, James says he spent two hours filling bins with “bottles of wee” and then another whole day throwing out random trash and ruined furniture. In other words, James is a possible closeted masochist with a slight pee fetish on the side and yet still won’t say exactly how many goddamn bottles of piss there were!!!!!
Don’t be like James: count your bottles of pee.