Two things I’ve never purchased at the grocery store include a 2-pound plastic container of clearly labeled ‘BUTTERNUT SQUASH’ or a 2-pound plastic container of cheese. I’ve never purchased the latter because I’m fairly sure that it doesn’t exist. I’ve seen tiny containers of cubed cheese before, but 2-pounds? Nah.
Below, a man live-tweeted a grocery store customer having a meltdown because he’d thought that he had purchased cheese when it was in fact clearly labeled butternut squash. The man tried to lie his way out of the situation, repeatedly, only to storm out of there. Is this the most important tweet storm of all time? Nah. Is this some Grade-A quality entertaining Internet? You bet your ass it is.
For starters, here’s what the bag of butternut squash in question supposedly looked like:
Butternut squash time! Grab-n-Go this #ReadyCheGo bag @BuehlersGrocery. Compliment #dinner in 3 min- no prep needed. pic.twitter.com/jC5VmdsLlG
— Ready. Chef. Go! (@DinnerIsDone) November 19, 2015
Now, the tweets:
A very confused man is attempting to return his open diced butternut squash because he thought it was a giant box of cubed cheese.
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
I can't believe this. They're saying he can't because it's open. He's saying it wasn't clearly labeled.
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
There's a GIANT label that says butternut squash
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
They've agreed to refund his money. Now he's demanding they honor 2 pounds of cubed cheese for $2.97 as if it was priced like squash
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
"Sir we don't have 2 pound bags of cubed cheese"
"I have guests waiting!"
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
He wants them to give him two pounds of block cheese and have the deli counter slice it into cubes for him
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
Oh god an employee trying to be helpful half heard the conversation and retrieved a whole butternut squash and it's a lot worse now
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
"I DON'T WANT RABBIT FOOD I JUST NEED SOME GOTDANG CHEESE!!!"
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
He's leaving without the cheese and took the squash with him.
— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
After all that he took the fucking squash?!???
Twitter had some reactions:
When life gives you lemons, this guy goes back and asks for nine two-liter bottles of Coke.
— Intellectual Homer Simpson (@tscottgarner) July 23, 2017
Working cust service i had a lady try to return bottles of wine saying theyre bad. Not thinking we would open. She had replaced with water.
— john (@Won_Man_Wonder) July 24, 2017
I feel like "every second he spent arguing with store employees was another second his guests went cheeseless" is an important life metaphor
— ℕℂ 𝕋𝕠𝕡𝕠𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕖 (@NCTopophile) July 24, 2017
The biggest problem in America right now isn’t health care, immigration, national security, or jobs. It’s that we as a society have lost the ability to admit when we’re wrong. Everyone’s become a raging cockknocker over the past few years due to the rise of social media, and the inability to admit when we as individuals are wrong. If you’re like me then you are rarely, if ever, wrong, but when you are wrong just fucking admit you’ve made a mistake. It’ll make you look like less of a raging dickhead and it will make people respect you more. Don’t be that guy. (h/t Twitter Moments)