Sharafat Khan owns a million-dollar-plus mansion in the suburbs of Houston. It’s a home with a massive entryway, an elaborate wood and glass front door, rooms galore, and a perfectly manicured lawn. Sadly, the only amenities that Khan is able to take advantage of at his home is that pristine lawn, because six months ago his wife kicked him to the curb, and he’s since been sleeping outside for half a year.
His neighbors have tried to give him food because his wife has cut him off from all of their money, but apparently the food got maggots in it and the wife wasn’t having that and put up a sign warning the neighbors to not give him food (because maggots are gross).
As awful as Sharafat Khan’s life sounds I think I’ve figured out a way for him to turn everything around:
Tongue. Game. STRONG.
The Washington Post reports:
“He’s wearing the same clothing, it’s dirty,” neighbor Debbie Scoggins told NBC TV affiliate KPRC. “He has no bathroom facilities, no shoes.”
“The weather is starting to get colder,” said Laurel Stout, who lives across the street. “He’s very frail, he can’t even walk. I’m afraid he is going to die out here in his yard.”
How did it come to this? Depends on who you ask.
Khan — who claims to suffer from diabetes and high blood pressure — said a spousal argument got him unexpectedly banished from his home in the Galveston Bay community. Police told KPRC that they’ve responded to the residence for domestic disputes as many as 30 times in the past six months. It’s unclear whether all those altercations occurred after Khan ended up squatting on his front lawn.
“They’re married so it’s community property,” Detective Tim Dohr of the Lakeview Police Department, which oversees policing in the neighborhood, told the Chronicle. “One has just as much right as the other to be there. We can’t make him leave, which is her wish, and we can’t really force her to do anything with regard to him.”
Despite owning half the couple’s mansion, Khan doesn’t have access to money. He spends his nights sleeping on the front porch, wrapped in a white sheet. During the day, KPRC reported, he seeks shade from the hot Texas sun under trees in the yard. He told CBS TV affiliate KHOU that he is “really weak.”
Again, I think my plan to get Khan off the lawn and back to the marital bed is FLAWLESS. Just look at that GIF above and tell me that wouldn’t save their marriage forever?